despite everything

Despite everything that's going on right now, I feel pretty damned good. And I have to say it's nothing I've done, except to keep praying and really try to change my attitude about things that I can't control.  I've been trying to keep  up with things on DS and not just be a bystander. Being more active on this site has shown me that there are people a lot worse off than I am  and that maybe my experience can help someone else.
I've always been rather selfish and with my mom's dementia I've finally realized that I don't have time to be selfish. I'll be selfish tomorrow when the sitter comes. I've really been wanting a good massage(a real one). Perhaps I will avail myself the opportunity. Perhaps not. Perhaps I will do whatever the hell I want to do. Perhaps I will get drunk which is what I usually do, with proper supervision of course.