"Desperado"
"Desperado"
Desperado, why don't you come to your senses? You been out ridin' fences for so long now Oh, you're a hard one I know that you got your reasons These things that are pleasin' you (his children)Can hurt you somehow Don't you draw the queen of diamonds, boy She'll beat you if she's able (that would be my mil/witch without a broom)You know the queen of hearts is always your best bet (I didn't realize it at the time but now I know why he looked at me so funny in the summer of '79 when he smacked my face my twin sister smacked him right back he smacked my face again and ran from the room I am sure he seen Victoria because I was terrified of him at the time)Now it seems to me, some fine things Have been laid upon your table But you only want the ones that you can't get(his children again)Desperado, oh, you ain't gettin' no younger Your pain and your hunger, they're drivin' you home (to Heaven where my family waits)And freedom, oh freedom well, that's just some people talkin' Your prison is walking through this world all alone (thank God I have never been that alone without the Lord I would have gne insane)Don't your feet get cold in the winter time?(bird in a gilded cage in a dark drafty corner) The sky won't snow and the sun won't shine It's hard to tell the night time from the day You're losin' all your highs and lows Ain't it funny how the feeling goes away? Desperado, why don't you come to your senses? Come down from your fences, open the gate It may be rainin', but there's a rainbow above you You better let somebody love you, before it's too late (he made sure it was too late a long, long time ago)
This is what he did to my children, Stephen got used and I got hurt again. I have to close the door to the past once and for but I am waiting on the Lord but as long as I have a connection with my son me ex has an opportuniy to hurt me. it's called Abuse by Proxy. Before we were married he said : we will make beautiful children together”. When I told him I was pregnant I was overjoyed but he was furious. He took off his belt and beat me till he could not swing his arms over his head one more time and then, he went to bed and left me the floor. In the morning I called my dad to come and get me. Why I stayed with him I do not know but I do know he could control me with his hipnotic eyes. I use to think he had beautiful. I am sure he used mascara before we were married because his eyes soon lost the enchantment or maybe it is just because I could finally see the evil in those dark mysteriuos eyes. I have only felt Victoria's presence twice; the time I got burnt and the time he so bad I had a major melt down then she came forth to protect me from an grumpy nurse – it was like I was sitting on a shelf looking down on my own sister who gave her life to save mine before I was even born. He will never leave me alone as long as I am alive. I looked up “how to disappear forever last night” but if I do that he will think he has won but he has not so when I turn 65 I am going to move to another address and maybe another town and get an unlisted phone number. He is not going to beat me because he might have the devil in his pocet but I have the Lord on my side. I am so tired of the Emotional Blackmail if they can't contact me – they can't play their games.
Replies
This is an amazing journal! DESPERADO is one of my favorite songs. And you sure know all the lyrics! I never knew \"you\'re losing all your highs and lows\". I couldn\'t figure it out. I thought he was saying \"you\'re losing all you have to lose\". thanks.