Desperate.

   I NEED to ge to at least 120 lbs. by the time I graduate. It's not an option. I am willing to do almost anything to loose this weight.
   For the past two weeks I have been trying not to eat. Just to make it through one day. In the morning I'll have a cracker after I take my meds, but that's just to get the taste out of my mouth. I can go the whole day without eating, then dinner comes around... I don't know... It's half my lack of self restraint and half I don't know what to do around my family.
   This is so crazy... I have never been one of those girls that hates their bodies. Well, I wouldn't go as far as hate, I'm just not happy with it. And ALL of my friends have perfect figures. Then there's me. The 5ft. 138 pound failure. I compare myself to them all the time and it drives me crazy!
   I know I'm not ugly. I AM pretty and unique. But I'm not thin. I won't make you do a double take. I'm just another girl walking in the mall... Average.
  Ugh... Average. I hate that word and everything it stands for. I might as well be dead. The only thing keeping me here is my dreams.. and my gorgeous head of hair. That's what makes me different and wonderful. My future. The one where I'm happy and people think, wow, I could have had her.
   One day I'll break your neck. One day I'll be amazing. One day I'll be happy.