Desperate

Two days ago:
I was desperate.  I was standing in a store with a credit card and two bucks in my pocket.  I'd come here on a mission.  I couldn't take it any longer.  It had been two days.  Two days of lonliness.  Two days and at least a week to go.  'How much? ' I asked the store clerk.  Fifty-nine bucks a month, she replied.  I stood there dumbfounded.  Fifty-nine bucks and it was only for a week.  Yet it required payment for two years.
It was a dumb idea.  Still, that night, I could be getting my fix... I thought.  Then I'd be happy.  I'd have plenty of company, all of us getting our fix on. 
I looked at it wistfully.  It would only be for two years.  Maybe I could find some use for it.  It wasn't that big, afterall.  Wouldn't take up much room.    I asked a few more questions, fishing out my credit card.  Then I put it back.  It's stupid. Paying 59 bucks a month for just a week of pleasure.  Still... 
I asked more questions.  Can I use it for anything else?  Could I justify the purchase?  Would I become another brainless compulsive shopper, buying yet another thing I don't need.  And me on a budget.   Still, I needed my fix, so I fished out my credit card, then I put it back.  It was as if DH was there talking sense to me. 
I could use the one at home, he said.  You can do it.  It may be hard, but you can make it work. 
I thought of DH sitting there with the thing on his lap, his hazel eyes crinkled in pleasure.
But could I do it?  Maybe a long time ago, but that was before I relied on DH to take care of things like that.  Now, I'm pretty brainless, I thought.  I won't know what to do.  I'd mess it up.  Still, 59 bucks I don't have, verses making it work. 
I left the store.
 
Two hours later:
I'm sitting on the floor, surrounded with the mystery of the ages.  I stare at it.  Run my fingers alone it's smooth lines.  All the while imagining it working.  All the while realizing the impossible task I had ahead of me.  After all, it's been years and things change.  I was a cavewoman living in the Jetson's world.  Impossible.
Three hours later, fustration building.  And after phone calls, and lots of patience, Voila.  I'm here and I'm talking and I've saved a ton of money by not buying that Netbook at Best Buy, all so I could get 3G technology that would have eliminated  the need of waiting for Comcast to connect me a full week later. And my fix: It's all of you here at DS that have helped me through the worst time of my life.
Who says you can't teach yourself how to operate a laptop!
Thanks guys.