Desparately devastated
Each month gets harder and harder, the pain runs deeper and deeper, and my strength continues to deplete. The pain runs so deeply that even my soul is weeping. Sometimes I start to think that my womb will forever remain empty and barren. Not only does that thought hurt but also the realization that my very fertile husband is having to give up his dreams of parenthood because of me. I hate that. I hate this. I have always desired NOTHING more than to be a wife and a mother. That is all. Nothing else. We cannot afford adoption-besides I want my own pregnancy and birthing experience, I am against IVF and cannot afford that anyways, I am willing to try IUI it starts at only $500 a try but I am scared to try anything else because I believe it all is just a big waste of time and emotional well being anyway. I am too scared that I will get deeply invested and highly confident in yet another route of reaching our goal only to be further let down. We go to the Dr. Thursday to find out why else I could not be conceiving. My Dr. thinks they've missed something and warned me to prepare for the possibility of bad news that there will be a problem they cannot fix and if so she will obviously pull me off all treatments early and I will have to give up. I didn't need to hear that, that is what started all of these feelings. I feel as if she's telling me "stop wanting children because it's probably not going to happen." I need to hear "don't give up, this may still happen for you it just takes strength, perseverance, and patience!" Ugh. My stupid empty womb. Doesn't it know we would be damn fine parents?
Replies
If your doctor told u to give up you have the wrong doctor girl, go get another doctor and then you might get some good results. Hope you feel better cause im going through the same thing, but i get to wait 5 months before i even get to see a doctor to help me out on my problems which i know is bull!!
Thank you so much. I actually JUST went to a new Dr today and she was pretty nice about it all. Before starting my next round of Clomid she is having me do an HSG once I reach CD10 to see whether my fallopian tubes are blocked or not. I\'m kind of nervous, for one it is not covered by insurance whatsoever and the only place in town to have it done is the hospital so I would imagine it\'ll be a pretty penny but I don\'t know...and from what I\'ve read online it sounds like it can be pretty painful. But probably nothing compared to actual childbirth so I\'m sure I can take it. I am sorry you have to wait so long! That\'s the worst part and when you\'re anxiously awaiting things like this 5 months feels like an ETERNITY! =(
Have you ever thought about having your husband tested? My sister has the same thing as us and they had her husband tested to and he wasnt producing and sperm. There not together anymore but i would suggest having him tested. Good luck with everything let us know!!!
That was the first thing we did. My dr wouldn\'t even talk to me before having him tested. She said it\'s much easier to treat male infertility than female so she always starts there. His sperm levels were completely normal and quality was very healthy.