Desparately devastated

Each month gets harder and harder, the pain runs deeper and deeper, and my strength continues to deplete. The pain runs so deeply that even my soul is weeping. Sometimes I  start to think that my womb will forever remain empty and barren. Not only does that thought hurt but also the realization that my very fertile husband is having to give up his dreams of parenthood because of me. I hate that. I hate this. I have always desired NOTHING more than to be a wife and a mother. That is all. Nothing else. We cannot afford adoption-besides I want my own pregnancy and birthing experience, I am against IVF and cannot afford that anyways, I am willing to try IUI it starts at only $500 a try but I am scared to try anything else because I believe it all is just a big waste of time and emotional well being anyway. I am too scared that I will get deeply invested and highly confident in yet another route of reaching our goal only to be further let down. We go to the Dr. Thursday to find out why else I could not be conceiving. My Dr. thinks they've missed something and warned me to prepare for the possibility of bad news that there will be a problem they cannot fix and if so she will obviously pull me off all treatments early and I will have to give up. I didn't need to hear that, that is what started all of these feelings. I feel as if she's telling me "stop wanting children because it's probably not going to happen." I need to hear "don't give up, this may still happen for you it just takes strength, perseverance, and patience!" Ugh. My stupid empty womb. Doesn't it know we would be damn fine parents?