Desire to Live

The desire to live comes from strange sources.  I'm an only child.  No children.  I have a step-daughter and two wonderful grandkids, and a son-in-law.  There's a part of me that feel they will eventually leave since our achor is gone.  I hope this is not true, but you never know.
After my husband passed, I thought I'd be willing to join him any time.  I fantasized about falling asleep and never waking up in this life.  I smiled to think about how wonderful it would be to look into my husband's eyes and to finally see our Lord.  Wow!  I thought it was what I wanted.  Then I got sick a couple of nights ago and learned the truth.  You see the desire to live comes from strange sources, some not human.
I have two animals, a dog and a bird.  So when I woke up with a high fever and feeling awful, I again thought about going to Heaven.  Then I looked down at my dog.  Who would take care of her?  She's near the end of her life, but I wouldn't want her put down just because I'm gone.
And then my bird.  He's still a baby with a life expectancy of 30 years.  Who would take him?  Would someone simply let him go?  I found myself sitting on the edge of the bed just thinking:  Dad is 82.  Step-daughter in no position to take either of my animals.  Is there someplace I could take my dog in case I end up in the hospital.  I've had pneumonia 3 times.  I've known several people who've died from it.  If I die in my sleep, will anyone miss me and come check on my animals.
Lord, God, please don't take me, I screamed.  I've got to make sure my beloved animals are taken care of.
I look back now and smile.  Life is indeed strange.