Design the Life I love....

I have lived for too long w/ limitations... a lot of those limitations come thru my husband. He has so many limitations on HIS own life / no goals / no future plans / no joys / no hopes / no dreams... he lives for one thing... to go to work and put his pay check in the bank. 

He is stuck. Very stuck. Don't get me wrong. He is a wonderful human being. I have just never been in life w/o goals or dreams... until I married MH. He began to strip those away... one by one... little by little... until I was in bed.... with no energy and everything gone phsycially, mentally, and in all aspects. I lost everything.

But a switch has turned. A dam has broken. Literally. I told him that his thumb would not be on me any longer. And I am moving forward so quickly that it is almost scary to ME.... The surge of energy... the fire of hope... the belief that I can actually LIVE again is igniting within me.... It's unreal.

I went to a coffee shop w/ a friend today. WE were talking about many many things at one time... LoL... like we always do bc that's the way we are... and I have NOT had time to spend w/ her and vice versa.... She said something about RA or CFS... I don't rememer which one... and it just blurted OUT of my Mouth... "I don't have that any more"... I almost shocked myself.

I have stopped the NSAIDS, half of the Dmards and still take a shot... but I am walking, and doing yoga and sleeping well and have no pain... sometimes after really working hard cleaning, I will have some pain... but I'm not 22. 

MH and I walked a long ways tonight thru the park. I really enjoyed it. The park is so green and happy... 

I'm looking forward to going to CO... and being in nature at its best. LoL... and being near water. 

MH and I are talking about going to the lake this weekend and paddle boarding... that's so much fun. I love the Bottomless Lakes. WE have been there a number of times but it is so much fun. And the paddle boards are peaceful. 

I'm finished w/ conforming to MH... OR letting him try to conform me... that is over with... and I think he knows it. There is still so much that he withholds from me. But there's little I can do about that. ... but I am moving forward

I started another online garage sale today. I don't have near as much to sale, but at least I'm making a little pocket change. 

I went to the library and did my FLY Lady list... I think it will help me with Zone Cleaning and staying focused on that. I do need help with that bc I get overwhelmed. I plan on going tomorrow and picking out a paint color for the LR, kitchen and a bedroom. The office needs painting too. It's a HORRIBLE red... like barn red... and goes w/ nothing in the house. I will start small and do just a wall at a time. I don't want to do but some accent walls and then think about painting the other walls very neutral. It just needs to be done... and I LOVE to paint. It is so mesmerizing to me. It's fun... other than the clean up... and that's not too bad if you just do it.

Design... the ... Life... you... Love.... xo