Depression is winning

Losing dad 6 years ago and mom last year was hard.I was not there when dad passed but was there taking care of mom when she passed.I know I did everything I could to make her comfortable before she passed.But still feel like I should have done more,her cancer spread so quickly and I know the meds I gave her were right.I miss them both so much now with the holidays coming I it's getting harder and harder each day to not be depressed feel lonely or just plain cry.Maybe after talking to my Dr.Saturday will help and having my grandkids over for the week gives me something to look forward to.