depressed today
feeling really bad for the past few days recieved a notice i am laid off as of December 27. So scared what am i going to do Some times I just sit on the floor and cry till i am sick. Medication is not helping. Crazy i work in a psych er see this all day. Isolation does not help. A dr walked into a lake here I believe she was at that depression level where sucide is the only answer. good for her she did it. So sick of feeling this way. My cats know when i feel this way they are all over me must have nightmares my big cat wakes me up, come awake crying. hate feeling this way no one knows how bad my depression is
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Yikes! ! ! A pink slip is enough to trigger a depression in most of us, even if we hate the job.
It was a nearly successful suicide attempt that facilitated my first psychotherapy appointment in 1972. As I worked my way past the suicidal ideation, I grew convinced that I would be taking all that psychobaggage with me when I went. My psycho senses believe that working it out here on Earth is far less painful than carrying self-torture, etc. into the afterlife. Just believing. . . Proof irrelevant.
I do believe I could easily kill myself, but motive counts. It be the spirit of the ending which fits in the funeral u-haul. Again, just believing.
Just when a moment came of hope it is taken from me by my abusers, they where plotting and strategising how to ... finally after a long time I could be assured to pay the rent on this house (even though the electricity is cut off..have candles for light at night..usually just go to bed to cry...and wash my clothes in a bucket....make a fire in yard to heat some water to make tea from the garden.....)... I walk 40 mins every morning to go look after my elderly disabled mother and then return to this house at night to cry... even my bicycle was stolen recently from the yard... i go to the local shops to charge my phone and computer or mums......but now i cant go look after mum or see her.... fighting legal matters that are scary...... people say that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, but that is not always true, the more rounds a boxer goes the weaker he gets, .. it is sooo hard when the gang up on you and you are already battered with no support... i have no reason to live, i have no life, i have no means to keep a roof over my head or food on the table, i have no means to care for the one person i love and loves me, and now they suffer without being able to have me see or comfort them.....