Depressed or feeling anger

Do yall know how much I hurt. I have so much pain inside of me. My estranged husband say everything is on me. I know he is a a liar. He believe I am the reason he smoked crack, drinks, and have problems. He believe there is some evil woman or evil bitch as he would say controlling everyone in this city where we live. Who actually believed that? I hate him so much. I just want him to get the fuck out my life. I am tired of being broke and depressed because of him. I hate him and I want you all to know that he is a terrible person. He is like a big kid when he does not get his way. If he does not get his way he calls me terrible names. I don't know what I can say. I try to be nice but I always end up letting him get to me. Why do I have to go through this shit. I feel so fucked up. I hope he goes to hell.