Depressed and Devastated

Tomorrow it will be a week since I moved out. We don't know if this is divorce or just a separation or what. We still message each other every day - sometimes having to do with the house that we are selling but sometimes not. I don't mind living alone as much as I thought I would. I mean, how alone can you be with 4 cats following you around, right? But I miss him. I miss us. 

I miss the time when I felt loved and appreciated and valued by him. I don't understand why he doesn't love me anymore. I was a good wife. But after months and months of him telling me what he was unhappy about in our relationship and all of the back and forth I had to take a step forward for my emotional health and move out. I can't hear any longer about how I'm not what he wants. Even though he doesn't say it that way, the things that he says are making him unhappy are things I cannot change. I cannot change who I am. I don't understand why I'm not enough anymore and I can't keep hearing about things that can't be fixed because they're not wrong about me. I love him and I wish that I didn't. This whole experience has been so hurtul and devastating.

When the person who knows you most in the world, stops loving you. Where does that leave you emotionally? Aside from the destruction of what I thought my future was - my self esteem is destroyed. I know you're not supposed to get your self esteem from someone else. But this has been such a blow to my confidence. Why am I unlovable? What is so very wrong with me? I