Denial

I looked at a collage of pictures of my wife and blurted out "this can't be real, this isn't real, this isn't happening. She isn't dead." this is a dream and I need to wake up! The sadness, anger, denial and frustration that I feel adds to the absolute sence of being alone. When do these feelings disapate and end? Do they and will they end? This process is so sad and I feel isolated with no one in my support network of family and friends that truly understands this pain. Grief is a 'black hole' that takes your passion for life, clouds your vision of reality and keeps hitting you when your down and at the lowest point in your life. Logically I think I'm fine. Emotionally I'm a wreck! Emotionally and logically together at best I'm (as Paul McCartney sang in one of his songs) 'a lonely man who is in the middle of something that he doesn't understand'.