Deleted...

I don't even know what to do anymore.  The person that my last journal entry was about has made me so upset, and when I logged into DS this morning, I found that he deleted me.  I don't even know why he's doing all of this.  I had known this person since 9th grade- about 14 years- and we hadn't spoken for almost 10 years.  Then under some weird events, he was back into my life in November 2007.  We became best friends again, and he promised he would never abandon me again.  We were very close- shared everything.  My son got very attached to him too.  He made promises to me and I trusted him.  He was the ONLY guy I trusted.  I was happy for once.  He recently did 30 days in jail for a car accident (wasn't his fault, but someone had to take the blame).  He wrote to me while he was in there.  He called whenever he could.  He even wrote to Jonathan.  Then he got out just before Christmas and that's when things changed.  He no longer called me.  He wouldn't answer my calls.  I begged him to help me move, and he said yes, but the whole time he was treating me like garbage and making rude comments about dust on the furniture (I hadn't lived there in 7 months).  He talked to me like I am a moron and was just an all-around jerk.  When I thanked him on my MySpace page for helping with the move, he told me to delete it and not tell ANYONE that he helped me move.  He asked me to lie about it.  I had a Christmas present for him, and everytime I asked if I could drop it off, he would suddenly have plans and would snub me.  He said he was too depressed to talk to anyone. I saw his blog on MySpace where he talked about going out with other friends and having a great time.  That's when I REALLY felt hurt.  He couldn't admit to anyone that he and I were friends.  He told me he never hangs out with anyone anymore and that he doesn't leave the house much- but it turned out he was lying.  Why couldn't he admit to people that he was my friend??   What kind of "friend" is that?? He just dropped me like I was nothing.  No explanation.  No apology for the way he treated me.  Nothing.  He PROMISED he wouldn't leave me.  He talked me out of moving to Illinois last fall because he wouldn't be able to keep his promise of always being there for me. He meant the world to me, and still does- that's why this hurts so much.  How can you just DROP a friend like that??  He was the one who got me away from Rob.  I looked forward to his calls.  I loved it when he stopped over- and Jonny did too.  He was always there when everyone else turned away.  Now he's done the same.   I don't know why he did this- and he won't tell me.  He just ignores me like he has since he got out of jail.  All I know is that he treated me like shit. All I can do lately is cry.  If my BEST FRIEND can just drop me like this, what could everyone else do?  I don't feel like doing anything anymore.  And with Rob constantly telling me he loves me one minute, then telling me to get out of his life the next, it's all too much pain and heartache for me.  I feel like I'm worthless all over again because my best friend did this.  He treats me like I never meant anything at all- like I'm something to be thrown away.  Like I'm just garbage to him.