Deep Breaths

Sponsor reminded me to breathe yesterday.  It is a helpful tool, deep breaths.  When my thoughts race and worry and fear and resentment come in, it is a solution.  It's been a hard week or so.  I think having the car break down bothers me more than I realize.  I've been thinking of getting by w/out a car.  Again I bought it from dad, but he never transfered it in my name no matter how many times I reminded him, he wanted me to take care of it, he doesn't know where the title is.  So what do I do?  I thought about letting him sell it, though who knows what he'll do.  I just may not be paying for more expensive repairs after this mechanic trip, mechanic says it's not worth it, it's a waste of money.  A friend referred me to others who work on this type of rare car I have - the mechanic I have is more 'old school' and seems to not be in the know about searching for parts on the internet and stuff, using dealers and not resourceful on his own.  The door handle is 240- it could probably be found used somewhere, anyway I let stuff go maybe I ought not but it seems easier.  Dad's so cheap and tries to getsomething for nothing and use shotty repairman trying to explain it to him has me at odds.  Mechanic couldn't get it to start yeserday.  That's why I took it in, sporadic stalling.  I bought the car 2 years ago knowing it had problems and of course they grow - the thing is 29 years old!  It's a cute little old porsche and has been a good little car but it's starting to have more problems. Anyway I walked to meeting last night and stayed for a 2nd, missed 1/2 of first.  My attitude improved a lot  being there and focusing on the sharing and recovery and having some socializing.  This guy had asked me to go with him and group to a comedy night on New Years, anyway I saw him last night and we talked.  I admitted I didn't remember his name - I probably haven't seen him regularly since Sept and don't know him well, but I kind of feel interested in him.  He seems to be friend of a friend I've had from the meetings for a few years now so I thought you know if he wants to get a hold of me he could.  I don't know.  Not "playing" hard to get just not putting myself out there - besides I know him not well and seem to remember him mentioning a wife and kid - must be divorced to have invited me, and I see no ring.  How do I bring that issue up?  Soon and tactfully. Letting go of expectations brings me serenity. Monday I saw T this guy who had asked me to church and then to coffee a couple months back, then within days said he was too busy to do coffee and didn't want to lead me on - that he's my friend.  He had seemed interested and I guess it sparked my interest & probably love addiction tendencies, anyway when he said he was too busy it really deflated me, that was nearly 2 months ago and I hadn't seen him till Mon., and seeing him sort of triggered that interest and the rejection - Neither of us lingered after our hello, anyway I lingered less for sure.  I dont think he knows me very well at all and probably never will, I felt so misunderstood by him all the time.  It's one thing to be a good listener and like what people say, it's another thing to be and feel heard.  That's important