decision time

All this week things have been ok so far. Until small small things start to happen, which make me to change my decision about myself and the way things are. Now the hard part is that most of them problems or things are not related to me, but I get stress and get depressed about them. It seems like that I had to make certain choices and decisions about myself. I feel like I have been not week but all my life. Why I let other ppl take control of me, there are only few who are close to me and I let them to deal with my life as they are part of my life. I am so anxious about things before they even start to happen. I feel that I try hard in a very strange way to show my feelings or things about myself. Why the life is so complicated for me, or is it me who make things hard for myself. I get so confused with things as what path to choose or which way to go. I have been reading a lot recently and having discussions about religions and stuff lately with 2 of my good close friends. I dont understand how, why and on which point i decided to listen to them, coz it has opened up lots of close doors in my mind and has brought up lots of questions in mind. The questions for which i am hard to find answers for? lol GOD has mercy on me ha ha lolok one of my friend is christian and one is muslim and the talk always starts with form maybe as little either the way we wear our dresses or something. then it leads to open debate and then lots of things get involve and i am always the one get picked on so easily coz i dont have or believe in GOD lol. I have read a book nearly 2 years ago about lines on the human hands and their effect in the future. This book just kind of bounce back into my memories and it has raised some issues over my personal life. Now it is entirely depend on me that if i take these things serious or assume that them thing just happened not coz they were written. Now here we have the question of faith, that i have faith or not and its hard to answer so i was confused their, but then i though why do i bother who is right and wrong and why i let GOD to be my judge. So i have made up my mind about different things, especially that its ok to have knowledge but not top up your limit coz u might up over loading your brain.so that is all for now, oh i almost i love to be part of this DS community, it has opened my eyes a lot and let me explore so many things, thanks DSthanks for reading