Decent weekend-cleaned house.
I had a pretty good weekend. For the first time in along time I did not feel restless. I am still suffering the insomnia but it seems that it's just a part of my life now and I won't question it. I layed around and watched alot of tv this weekend. I didnt feel the need to go the bar. I went to the library instead and picked up some books. I picked up a book about the lessons and analogies that monks use in their daily lives and want to try and incorporate some of these in mine. It makes me feel calmer. I sat and watched the birds and petted my cat( she was happy).
I did block three of my old acquaintances. I decieded these people did nothing for me. As a matter a fact, there is alot of hurt around them and decided I'm done giving people chance after chance. If I have one good person in my life then that is enough. Sometimes 1 good friend is better than 10 acquaintances. I rearranged things in the house and decluttered. I decided I will not hold onto anything just for the sake of holding on. It must serve a purpose and be something that makes me happy-anything else is just clutter.
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Los libros y los amigos
Pocos y buenos
"Busying Out" is one of my most effective therapy tools. Something fairly mindless to keep my hands busy while my mind runs its loops channels the energy in far less harmful ways than chasing demons and delusions. Sometimes I even end up with a cleaner place to live as a positive side effect. Maybe even happier cats and birds, too. I believe they miss us when we aren't connected.
This is great.
You have to wonder why those monks are perfectly happy living a simple life and meditating all day. It's because of that connection they have found through meditating....that connection that seems to fill a void.... That connection that makes everything we see in this life seem so insignificant.... That feeling of being surrounded by unconditional love....
It really puts things into perspective and makes me want to hold on to that connection.
God Bless