December Breakdown

I had a December breakdown yesterday. I was crying and crying. I wanted Geo to come in and comfort me since I have been dealing with a lot. He didn't. He heard me crying and ignored me. While he explained his motives later, I don't know if it's right. He said that when he used to come in and comfort me when I was crying, I would start crying more and more frequently, so he didn't want to start a crying cycle. I can understand that. BUT I don't cry like this often, and it happens most in December, so it's not something that I do all the time anymore. So it wouldn't happen more often, since it's just the time of year. I have to talk to him about it, but I want to wait a bit and think about it more. I was heartbroken last night that he didn't comfort me (I didn't think he could hear me and that made it worse) and it made me cry more. It was hard. He loves me and wants to comfort me, but in his mind he made the right decision. I don't know if I'm going to have another cry again, but if I do I don't expect him to come.

Another thing: His friend Heather is going to have surgery in February and at the same time her husband is having surgery as well, and he wants to go help them. I don't mind.... I don't know. They need the help, but I don't know how long he will be gone. He has gone to visit her before and nothing happened. They are just friends. She is married with 2 teenage kids. My brother and sister are supposed to visit my mom sometime soon (it was supposed to be January, but that's not going to happen) and I might see about having the time Geo is in Oregon with Heather to coincide with my brother and sister seeing my mom so I can go be with them and not be home alone. Last time he went to Oregon I was alone and I was fine, but I don't do well in the winter (like my December breakdown). I don't know. I have a lot on my mind and a lot to deal with. I'm going to see my mom soon (I leave on the 20th) and be there for Christmas. I will come home on the 28th so I can have New Year's Eve with Geo.

Recommended- There is this show on NBC called "This is Us" and it's amazing, and tonight I watched a great movie about Alan Turing (the inventor of the computer) and his work in WWII. It's called "The Imitation Game".