December 3rd 2017

Well today is a rough day. It has been 2 years since I have seen My Children. My ex who was very very abusive towards me and the children wound up getting custody of them almost 10 years ago in 2008 because his mother had money and was aboe to buy off lawyers and such. This man was 36 when I met him and I was 16 he originally wanted my mother whom at the time already had a boyfriend (I have never knew or met my father and My Mom refuses to give me his name I don't know why) My Children are 18 and 17 years old now and because I was with this neanderthall for 4 years I now suffer from ptsd anxiety panick attacks ocd the whole 9 yards. I didn't know at the time I was ony a young teenager all alone in a world I felt didn't want me. I am Richley Blessed to have now meet the man of my Dreams who tough Me to have a back bone stand up for myself, He taugh Me what True Love is. We have been together for 15 years now but I still have night mares and flash backs from all the abuse I suffered at my ex's hands. I try not to bring him up to often but my Husband says he is there for me and he will listena nd its health to bring things up so your so called "cup o' crap" doesn't over flow. Mine has already I used to be horrible depressed and suicidlely I cut and buyrned my self wityh a diagnose's of Borderline Personality Disorder I am 36 years old. One thing I am Proud of Besides My Husband is that I have been Mental Free for 6 Years now June 5th 2017 will be 6 years So My Dr. Physciatrist says I am a recovered Bordeline like Girl Interupted at the end of the movie. Welp thats quite the journal entery for one day. Iam off to spend some time with My Hunney and Grandma. Plese no Rude Commeents (sorry about any typos but I had the shales and was very emtional sharing all this)