DECEMBER 2014 -4- Christmas Eve
Watching the Melbourne Christmas Carols. Presents are wrapped (abet just a few). This is the 2nd Christmas without my husband but it seems to have hit me harder than it did last year....it was just a blur last year being only weeks after both he and his mum died so by what others have said it seems 'normal' that this is how I am feeling. I highlight the word 'normal' as this new 'normal' is not someplace that I am comfortable in. I despise being in this place - it is all I can do to shower, dress and feed the dog some days. At times I feel I am drowning and adrift without mooring all at the same time. I miss my husband in all ways and wonder when this loneliness and feeling of being abandoned will ease. It just is so very painful.
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Not having the best of times atm - seems that this goes with the territory going by the postings of others here. I read, I watch tv, I tidy the house, I sit on the computer and play solitaire - not what was in my plans...but seems that this is where I am atm so need to accept and acknowledge and kind of just allow life to be.