December 10th - a new Anniversary :(

My wedding anniversary iwould be December 16th but today marks the one year anniversary of my divorce. I still talk to him nearly every day and I am just so very sad about it all.  It has been three years since I left him.
Since this is my journal, I'll start fresh...
My story in short. I married my high school sweetheart. We were fourteen when we met and even though we dated others in high school we stuck together and were married 20+. The marriage was very good. Very. I am now finally starting to see that I had twenty wonderful years with a good man and father. We had a great life together and we saw the world.
After twenty years, my ex started taking prescription SSRI's. This shouldn't have been a problem but it brought his moderate drinking problem to a whole new level. He began drinking over $1200 a month in alcohol. He became verbally abusive to myself and to my daughter who still lived at home at this time. I loved him and I stayed and tried to help. After six months, when his risky behavior was putting my daughter  at risk, I left him.
A year later (no change in his abusive behavior) I filed for separation.
A year later I filed for divorce.
A year later, today. It still just hurts and hurts.  He is still a wreck and hasn't met anyone else and his favorite thing to do is call me on the phone and blast me about how I ruined our lives together and the verbal assaults grow and grow.
My big push right now is NO CONTACT.  I don't want to be in this place a year from now. I want to move on and let go. It is the hardest thing ever. I know it will be best for me, though. His abuse is ruining my self esteem and ruining my life.
two days, four hours, six minutes, no contact