DEC 22,2010

I HATE CHRISTMAS I MISS MY MOTHER SO MUCH AND THE SMELL OF HER HOUSE THIS TIME OF YEAR AND THE LOVE YOU COULD FEEL IN HER HOME..AND I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE MY BRAIN BACK IT SUCKS WHAT SOME WOMEN HAVE TO GO THOUGH I USED TO BE ABLE TO HANDLE THINGS VERY WELL BUT IT SEEM LIKE I HIT 40 AND I WENT TO HELL IN A HAND BASKET...AND CANT SEEM TO GET TO THAT PLACE AGAIN WHERE I CAN FINE PEACE AGAIN..BUT I HOPE THE NEW YEAR WILL BRING ME PEACE I WANT TO ENJOY LIFE AGAIN BE ABLE TO JUST JUMP UP AND GO SHOPPING OR JUST JUMP UP AND LOOK FOR THAT NEXT ANTIQUE SHOP..".THANK YOU PMDD" AND THE PTSD HAS ME IN A PLACE WHERE I JUST DONT KNOW.. I CANT BELIVED I'VE LET A MAN BREAK ME AND PUT ME IN THIS PLACE WHERE I CANT EVEN GO OUT WITHOUT THE FEAR OF HIM FINDING ME..AND I KNOW HES NOT GOING TO DRIVE 8 HOURS BUT YOU NEVER KNOW WITH PEOPLE LIKE HIM..BEEN DIVORCED FOR 3 YEARS AND THE MAN IS STILL CONTROLLING ME LOOKING OVER MY SHOULDER ALL THE TIME...AFTER ALL THE ABUSE HE DONE I STILL DONT WISH NO HARM TO COME TO HIM..I THINK BACK ON THE 20 YEARS OF MARRIAGE AND I DONT REALLY SEE NO GOOD TIMES EXP..FOR THE TIME I WAS SHOPPING...WOW I THINK I FOUND HAPPINESS IN SHOPPING WHILE MARRIED TO HIM...BUT ANYWHOO I HOPE EVERYONE HAS A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS AND THE NEW YEAR BRING PEACE AND LOVE TO ALL..AND WE ALL CAN GET BACK TO WHERE WE WAS A HAPPY PERSON