Dec 1/09

Still feeling ited and out of sorts. Going to see my gp tomorrow I am hoping to get some relirf for whatever is going on woth my mouth. I can't put up the christmas tree until the puppies leave around the 14th I will miss them but not their mess. My daughter is coming home for christmas now so I quess we have to make more of an effort for her sake. I almost wish she was still going out east to her boyfriends family. that sounds awful but I don't want her to realize how bad things are right now. My son will be out west with his girlfriend for christmas she is the one coming to get the puppies and they could only afford for one of them to come home and amy is an only child so her mom really wanted her home...I can understand that I get to see my daughter pretty often. I don't think it is as hard with boys you expect them to move away, but daughter's are different. Not that I wouldn't love to see my son but I know he is Amy's now and that's the way it should be. I haven't been able to get out to the gym I have been so tired, one more thing to feel guilty about. Spending the money and not using the gym. I seem to have enough energy for the most basic things and nothing more. I think the depression is only making things worse but what more can I do? I am on meds for it....I think it is just a combination of feeling bad from the meds and then feeling down about everything else. I have never really liked this season much since I lost my grandmother she was the one who made it special and I don't seem to have her knack for it.