Death I want it now!!!

Well this is how I feel now!!!I don't have very many friends and the ones I do have a getting less and less..I don't want to be here anymore I am sick of my children hurting me me friends hurting me.I let some see me cry to night and he tried to make me happy..I am scared that he will not talk to me again I have let him into a part of my life that no one has ever gone before.What is about this man do I really love him like I said I do.Mary said I am a bitch and I so sick of her saying that it hurtsme when she says that.Cindy dosen't want to be near me and the other 2 just want to be near there father..The only thing I have left is my dogs and cats..When they hurt you it is because you have hurt them.I want no more pain and to have really good friends I have reside the fact I am going to be single for the rest of my life but it is hard when you don't want your parents around.I don't think I was ment to have children I should have gone and died before mary was born but I chickened out.I am now think of going over a cliff within a week time then they can be happy and free of me..Mary can replace me with a child cindy can live with her friend and the 2 younger one can live with there dad.My parents were right I should not have been born and Sandra should not have died I should have.You want to know me well this is me... I have wated to die for a very long time and once I nearly did it but chickened out but I sware the next time I do it I will not chicken out I will kill myself..When I do it know one will know untill I do it...I look at trucks and wonder what it would be like to jump in front of one or jump off a bridge.People say I am kind ans sweet but one day the sweetness is going to run out and darkness will replace it..I hate who I am and I have the people who have hurt me.Why don't you trust me what did I do wrong I never hurt you.The end of my life in near and I know not many people will read this so I can say how I feel and I know I will not get hurt..I just wanted someone to love me for me and the only ones that do that are my animals..  I feel better for writing it down but it still hurts..I am just going to stop caring what is the point you only get hurt in the long run..George,Warren,Prince,Wolfy,Phillp,Mark and lots more thanks for hurting me you will get yours..If you lied about anything the person will find out like I did just don't lie and keep you friends and family safe and happy...