Dear ex N

I dispise that you still manage to invade my head and that you still make my heart ache.  I am slowly picking up the pieces of the devastation you caused me with your lies, pathological jealousy, rage, manipulation, distrust, guilt, threats, insults, isolation and crazy making.  Everything gosh damn second of those 2 1/2 years was a purposeful lie, wasn't it?  Every word, action, expression was a part of your plan to fill your empty loveless heart with my light and soul. 
I feel violently ill at the very thought of you mother fucker, and I pray for the wonderous day that you are no longer a piece of me.  Until then, i will burn with hatred for you. 
This is what I wish I would have said to you at least once during those 6 months that you raged out of control,  you tore me down, stole my energy and filled me with terror and shame.