Dealing with those who ask questions.....
Like most Chronic Pain folks, I don't like discussing my medical conditions with people, whether I know them or not. I really don't like rude people who just kind of march up to me and say, "YOU MUST BE SO STRONG!" I just stand and stare at them, mainly because I'm usually trying to catch my breath, but finally I say, HUH? Well your obviously Handicapped, you've got the thingy hanging in your window and you limp and you have braces on your hands and knees, but your putting your own groceries in your car, your not even getting a bagger to come do it. Usually I ignore this type of intrusive person, but sometimes I'm tired and grumpy and then it's like, "well yeah and I can climb up there and drive all by myself too! And when I get home I get to take those bags out and bring them in the house and put them away and everything! This is when embarrassment usually hits the other person and they mumble...i'm sorry...ijust..umm..thought..and I step in and say, Look I'm not wheelchair bound, and I'm not completely useless yet, I can still get groceries on a good day. You guys overstepped your boundaries with those words. You don't just assume someone is completely helpless because they may need some help....howabout next time you just ask, Hey do you need a hand? We get irritating words from people enough, a nice suggestion of help goes a long way. Just remember if they say no thanks, it means no thanks.
I get that people feel bad that some of us have been through far more than we ever should have, more than we ever asked for, more than we deserved, more than the Powers That Be should have thought we can carry on our weak sholders...but for whatever reason we get it all and never just 1 type of 1 thing. We get heavy doses of all of it. And yes we had to have a certain strength in order to survive it all, a certain anger pushed strength inside of us to keep us going and recouperating, doing the PT, taking the shots, taking the med and getting to the point where we can now with the help of meds and canes/wheelchairs, different forms of therapy get up and around and have somewhat of our life back.
The one thing we did not do through all of our trials and tribulations was put a sign on our back that said "I'm so strong to have handled all I've been through!"
The one thing we don't want to see or hear when we'er back to the level we're going to get as that sign on our back that says, "I'm so strong to have gotten threw all I did"
Sometimes I wish people would just give it a break....because they have no idea what it took, they have no idea how hard it was or how much strength it took, and they never will.
I have a dream that I play over and over in my head when I'm board & drowsy. People walk by, see the wires that come out of the braces in my leg that are attached to the tens unit on my belt or they see me getting out of my Car, which is parked in the Handicap slot and ask me what right I have to park there (even with the placard) I hand them each a little notebook; I list all of the 31 surgeries I've had in that book, I list all the organs that have been removed from my body; I list all my Dr. appt''s/Platelet Checks/Ultrasounds for just 1 month. I then list all 19 pills and injections they have to take everyday. I try to explain the way pain can come on and rip your body apart and leave you with no breath and all you can do is pray that it stops soon.I also list the next 5 - 6 surgeries that I'm due to have in the next 2 years.
In my dream everytime someone says something to me about how strong I am or how do I do it or some other lame saying, I toss a notebook at them and say, "There is is why don't you try it!"
I get that people feel bad that some of us have been through far more than we ever should have, more than we ever asked for, more than we deserved, more than the Powers That Be should have thought we can carry on our weak sholders...but for whatever reason we get it all and never just 1 type of 1 thing. We get heavy doses of all of it. And yes we had to have a certain strength in order to survive it all, a certain anger pushed strength inside of us to keep us going and recouperating, doing the PT, taking the shots, taking the med and getting to the point where we can now with the help of meds and canes/wheelchairs, different forms of therapy get up and around and have somewhat of our life back.
The one thing we did not do through all of our trials and tribulations was put a sign on our back that said "I'm so strong to have handled all I've been through!"
The one thing we don't want to see or hear when we'er back to the level we're going to get as that sign on our back that says, "I'm so strong to have gotten threw all I did"
Sometimes I wish people would just give it a break....because they have no idea what it took, they have no idea how hard it was or how much strength it took, and they never will.
I have a dream that I play over and over in my head when I'm board & drowsy. People walk by, see the wires that come out of the braces in my leg that are attached to the tens unit on my belt or they see me getting out of my Car, which is parked in the Handicap slot and ask me what right I have to park there (even with the placard) I hand them each a little notebook; I list all of the 31 surgeries I've had in that book, I list all the organs that have been removed from my body; I list all my Dr. appt''s/Platelet Checks/Ultrasounds for just 1 month. I then list all 19 pills and injections they have to take everyday. I try to explain the way pain can come on and rip your body apart and leave you with no breath and all you can do is pray that it stops soon.I also list the next 5 - 6 surgeries that I'm due to have in the next 2 years.
In my dream everytime someone says something to me about how strong I am or how do I do it or some other lame saying, I toss a notebook at them and say, "There is is why don't you try it!"
Replies
Some people are just rude. I often wonder if they think.you\'re!Re suppose to be in a wheelchair to get a handicap tag. The sad thing.is they. don\'t think anyone is strong, they just don\'t like it because they can\'t park by the door of the store. Although they have no problems walking or getting around.