Dealing With An Angry Husband

According to Debi Pearl in her book, Created To Be His Help Meet, there are two kinds of anger: the anger that is just a reaction to something over some frustrations, and the anger that is rooted in bitterness. Each type of anger needs to be dealt with in different ways.

Just as it is very natural for us to get hurt over little things that our min mand bliver hurtigt sur may find very petty, it is also very natural for them to get angry over things that won't even affect us. They can flare up over not finding their keys, and may even blame you for it. Or you may be talking to him about something and you caught him at the wrong time and gets mad at you for it.

I used to be very sensitive about this. I still am, sometimes, but I've improved a lot. I've come to realize that when my husband is angry over something it doesn't mean that he is mad at me. I am learning more and more each time not to take things personally. One thing I have discovered though is that the enemy uses our husbands' anger to make us feel resentful of them, thus dividing us so he, the devil, can conquer. When I see things from the spiritual realm, then I get stronger in overcoming the attack of the enemy.

So the next time your husband gets mad over something you may think is petty, take it with a grain of salt. It's not about you.

The other type of anger though is deeper and should be dealt with in a more sensitive way. This type of anger blames everybody for his demise. It also expresses anger, hurt, and hatred towards certain groups of people, if not everybody else. If you have a husband who has this problem, the best way for you to deal with it is to let him express himself without you telling him that he is wrong. Then when his anger has subsided, you can gently point him to the truth. You have to take it very easy though as you may trigger some issues within him that will bring back his anger again. You have to be very careful too about fanning the flames of his anger. You may agree with him over his anger towards a family member that you don't like as well, which will just make matters worse for him.

Present to him a bigger picture of things such as where the other person is coming from. Never do this though at the height of his anger. For instance, if he is mad at his brother, perhaps you can discuss with him the pressures that his brother is going through and what he probably feels towards him, your husband. Always point him back to Jesus... what Jesus said... what Jesus did. Encourage him by telling him that his anger is God's way of exposing some things to him about himself and people. Let him know that it is alright to feel hurt (which they express through anger) because it gives way to healing.

If you are dealing with an angry husband, better learn how not to talk negatively against anyone. If you do, it will just stir him up and will hate the people that you keep talking against. I have made this mistake several times which is why I have learned my lesson, and sharing it with you.