Dealin with the Past
Just when you think it safe to go back into the water...
One of the many tthings I've learned in Life is that haveing someone to listen ... can sometimes make all the difference in how we face another Day...
I've had many friends that were Vietman Vetrans...serve up a heepin big platter of not nice over there... Me I was blessed...yeppers.... Some how my pay records got lost.. fur real...so I missed about 8 months of pay while serving in the Air Force ...Minot AFB.... cold up there in the winter...
any way long story short I ticked off this Fellow with more stripps on his sleeve than Brain cells... he had ...ok so I had a lowly opinion of this fellow...I was pretty sure he knew about it too.... called his old arse out couple times.. but hey no way ....but I was young dumber than dumb...but I thought I was way smart yepp... so as the months pass I'm gettin kinda edgey...all work and no Pay... then I fell and hurt my back and the doc gave me some kinda pill that just turned my inner child LOOSE...
Well not haveing any pay.. I did finally get comfort pay 5 dollars every two weeks.. hahahahaha comfort pay... hell it cost 3 dollars for a hair cut.. and then the laundry for my fatiuges was eatin the rest up...
Oh well the Base commander he locked his keys into the trunk of his staff car... well I crawled thru the back seat unlatched the trunk from the inside.. and as i got out of the trunk.. this General... Yepp he had all them Stars... well he seen I wasn't wearin my standard issue socks.. (as they was stiff and dirty back in my room)
Well this old fellow he unloads on my case about being outta uniform...and grabbs my one and only strippp ripps it off.. and begins to do a war dance and I didn't like the song he was singin so I suprised this General witt all them stars with my own version of a war dance... took him totally by suprise... Yeppp... so being high on them pills.. and well I did say Sir yes Sir... and you can do this Sir.. and you should stick it there Sir...
Ya know I kinda expected to get locked up Plum yeah... but nope... he just got hold himself and announced I had just earned a CourtMarshal... (it took a couple days for that one to soak in)
I don't know how to spell what that VA doc gave me.. but dang when I came down to earth... I was in a whole mess of trouble..
Well rest them service guys was tellin me how this Base Commander was gonnna hang my arse... yepp they made sure I was plenty informed....This General didn't waist no time before I knew it I was standin there at attention at the end of a long table to descuss my up comein demise... Yepp I was lookin at the end of someting...
well I had a new haircut.. and clean socks... my uniform was pressed and lookin good... so I was in my best form hahahaha... still definant... but not so big mouthed ... gonna take my punishment like a Man...
some one hollers attention... this General comes in ... gives the at ease command...I had to remain at parade rest...Well he sits down... shuffles throught some paper work.. provide by this sargent that didnt' like my sorry ole butt.... and he ask me if I had any questions or anyting I'd like to state before they got started with this hear courtmarshalin thingy... (Yeah I do)
I said first I'd like to apologize for my behavior and showed him them pills I was takin at the time of our brief encounter... he said he acepted the apology.. and asked me if I'd like to ask any question... (Yeah I do....)
I asked Sir would you show up for work everyday if you werent gettin paid to do the job....?
Oh geesh.. he stated a blunt HEll NO...! and ask when was the last time I got paid...(8 months ago...?) okay that's all she wrote.. the General dismissed the Court Marshal... and demanded this Sargent find my pay records or make some new ones but to get me paid...but he kept my strip for runnin off at the mouth like I done...
24 hours before I was suppose to ship off to Korea... this fellow with all those stripps come up to me... give me a bunch of papers to sign tellin me he was going to get my pay for me.... so just sign here... and here... and here and date this one here.. blah blah blah.. my brain is not registering I'm thinkin this gonna be one big paycheck... boy I'm gonna party rite...?
when I finished signin all them papers he laughed said you just signed a article 3912... you got 24 hours to get off base OR I'll have you locked up for a year...or two...
Well next day I turn in all my stuff.. cept fatigues and combat boots.. I wasn't allowed to see my squadron commander or any one... I'm shuffled off base with my duffle bag dd214... an a real feelin of being so dam stupid... yeah.. should of read those papers fur i put my john hancock on em...there was a real reason I didn't like this Sargent...any ole way...year or so later I got my correction pay... 10 dollars... and six months later I got a check for 68 cents...that is the sum of my earnins for 9 months...
Then when I need to use the VA... my discharge wos General under Honorable ... so I reluctantly went to the VA.... cause I didn't deam myself worthy of any military services... but a nam vet friend insisted I go with him to Waco VA... sign up... know what... they claimed I was never in the Airforce.... hahahaha... but he I had my dd 214... so well there ya bee... later they took my dd 214 away from me.. yeah VA rep... in Taylor texas said she had to have it.. then she couldn't find it.. so hey I told her don't worry bout it.. it was only a copy... lol
SHE demaned the orignal.. and I told her kiss this.. I still have my orignal dd 214 don't give that up to no body.. ever... five times I was told I was never in the Air Force.. five times i provide a copy of my dd 214.. see I learnd somtine.. hahahaha...read it before ya sign it... and never give up the orginal copy ...
now my army... airforce... marine and Navy friends I've had the good fortune of meeting over the years... they all told me they were glad I never made it to Nam....I listen too all of em tell me about their time of Horror over there... that's the only way I can explain it...I don't think I'd of ever made it back... with my mind... intact... and I 've stood between cops and a vet they wanted to shoot just because they didn't think what they heard scream in that dark bedroom was human... and yeah I was tad bit scared myself.. but i went in and got my friend out....sure hope he made it through those flashbacks... me I'm Blessed.. and I'm so very grateful for missin out on Vietnam...
I'm startin to understand better what some of them went thru.. cause I'm doin my own little thingy with My PTSD.. and as I get older.. it gets worse... and I'm sure my friends understand...but I gotta tell ya sometimes i don't understand it a tall... NOPE...
i'm hangin in here.. best wishes Russ
One of the many tthings I've learned in Life is that haveing someone to listen ... can sometimes make all the difference in how we face another Day...
I've had many friends that were Vietman Vetrans...serve up a heepin big platter of not nice over there... Me I was blessed...yeppers.... Some how my pay records got lost.. fur real...so I missed about 8 months of pay while serving in the Air Force ...Minot AFB.... cold up there in the winter...
any way long story short I ticked off this Fellow with more stripps on his sleeve than Brain cells... he had ...ok so I had a lowly opinion of this fellow...I was pretty sure he knew about it too.... called his old arse out couple times.. but hey no way ....but I was young dumber than dumb...but I thought I was way smart yepp... so as the months pass I'm gettin kinda edgey...all work and no Pay... then I fell and hurt my back and the doc gave me some kinda pill that just turned my inner child LOOSE...
Well not haveing any pay.. I did finally get comfort pay 5 dollars every two weeks.. hahahahaha comfort pay... hell it cost 3 dollars for a hair cut.. and then the laundry for my fatiuges was eatin the rest up...
Oh well the Base commander he locked his keys into the trunk of his staff car... well I crawled thru the back seat unlatched the trunk from the inside.. and as i got out of the trunk.. this General... Yepp he had all them Stars... well he seen I wasn't wearin my standard issue socks.. (as they was stiff and dirty back in my room)
Well this old fellow he unloads on my case about being outta uniform...and grabbs my one and only strippp ripps it off.. and begins to do a war dance and I didn't like the song he was singin so I suprised this General witt all them stars with my own version of a war dance... took him totally by suprise... Yeppp... so being high on them pills.. and well I did say Sir yes Sir... and you can do this Sir.. and you should stick it there Sir...
Ya know I kinda expected to get locked up Plum yeah... but nope... he just got hold himself and announced I had just earned a CourtMarshal... (it took a couple days for that one to soak in)
I don't know how to spell what that VA doc gave me.. but dang when I came down to earth... I was in a whole mess of trouble..
Well rest them service guys was tellin me how this Base Commander was gonnna hang my arse... yepp they made sure I was plenty informed....This General didn't waist no time before I knew it I was standin there at attention at the end of a long table to descuss my up comein demise... Yepp I was lookin at the end of someting...
well I had a new haircut.. and clean socks... my uniform was pressed and lookin good... so I was in my best form hahahaha... still definant... but not so big mouthed ... gonna take my punishment like a Man...
some one hollers attention... this General comes in ... gives the at ease command...I had to remain at parade rest...Well he sits down... shuffles throught some paper work.. provide by this sargent that didnt' like my sorry ole butt.... and he ask me if I had any questions or anyting I'd like to state before they got started with this hear courtmarshalin thingy... (Yeah I do)
I said first I'd like to apologize for my behavior and showed him them pills I was takin at the time of our brief encounter... he said he acepted the apology.. and asked me if I'd like to ask any question... (Yeah I do....)
I asked Sir would you show up for work everyday if you werent gettin paid to do the job....?
Oh geesh.. he stated a blunt HEll NO...! and ask when was the last time I got paid...(8 months ago...?) okay that's all she wrote.. the General dismissed the Court Marshal... and demanded this Sargent find my pay records or make some new ones but to get me paid...but he kept my strip for runnin off at the mouth like I done...
24 hours before I was suppose to ship off to Korea... this fellow with all those stripps come up to me... give me a bunch of papers to sign tellin me he was going to get my pay for me.... so just sign here... and here... and here and date this one here.. blah blah blah.. my brain is not registering I'm thinkin this gonna be one big paycheck... boy I'm gonna party rite...?
when I finished signin all them papers he laughed said you just signed a article 3912... you got 24 hours to get off base OR I'll have you locked up for a year...or two...
Well next day I turn in all my stuff.. cept fatigues and combat boots.. I wasn't allowed to see my squadron commander or any one... I'm shuffled off base with my duffle bag dd214... an a real feelin of being so dam stupid... yeah.. should of read those papers fur i put my john hancock on em...there was a real reason I didn't like this Sargent...any ole way...year or so later I got my correction pay... 10 dollars... and six months later I got a check for 68 cents...that is the sum of my earnins for 9 months...
Then when I need to use the VA... my discharge wos General under Honorable ... so I reluctantly went to the VA.... cause I didn't deam myself worthy of any military services... but a nam vet friend insisted I go with him to Waco VA... sign up... know what... they claimed I was never in the Airforce.... hahahaha... but he I had my dd 214... so well there ya bee... later they took my dd 214 away from me.. yeah VA rep... in Taylor texas said she had to have it.. then she couldn't find it.. so hey I told her don't worry bout it.. it was only a copy... lol
SHE demaned the orignal.. and I told her kiss this.. I still have my orignal dd 214 don't give that up to no body.. ever... five times I was told I was never in the Air Force.. five times i provide a copy of my dd 214.. see I learnd somtine.. hahahaha...read it before ya sign it... and never give up the orginal copy ...
now my army... airforce... marine and Navy friends I've had the good fortune of meeting over the years... they all told me they were glad I never made it to Nam....I listen too all of em tell me about their time of Horror over there... that's the only way I can explain it...I don't think I'd of ever made it back... with my mind... intact... and I 've stood between cops and a vet they wanted to shoot just because they didn't think what they heard scream in that dark bedroom was human... and yeah I was tad bit scared myself.. but i went in and got my friend out....sure hope he made it through those flashbacks... me I'm Blessed.. and I'm so very grateful for missin out on Vietnam...
I'm startin to understand better what some of them went thru.. cause I'm doin my own little thingy with My PTSD.. and as I get older.. it gets worse... and I'm sure my friends understand...but I gotta tell ya sometimes i don't understand it a tall... NOPE...
i'm hangin in here.. best wishes Russ
Replies
what a story, honey i believe things happen for a reason. im sure it wasnt ment for you to go. my husband went, he was in the marines. and he has some horror stories too. be kind to yourself my friend, dont push or expect to much from yourself either. we all need to give ourselves a pat on the back sometimes just for making it in this life. ...xx
I agree with what she said! Keep hanging in there my friend!!! Best wishes to you always!!!! ~~hugs~~