Deadlines and other

I'm in a program where I write 50,000 words by the 30th and so far I have 25,000. I also need to read two 4-5 hundred paged books by the 1st. I need to finish my science since I'm behind. I also need to work on my dance recital. Those among others. I am a perfectionist (OCD?) and need to get them all done on time, preferably early. I've been very stressed recently which doesn't help with anxiety and depression.
As I mentioned before, I am the middle of two siblings and often (now) feel unloved and do get blamed and in trouble for everything I did AND everything my siblings obviously did.
That's all for now.
p.s. I managed to not reread all of this!