DEAD DEAD DEAD DEPRESSION

Yesterday I went into nearby 5+10 for two items, gave a twenty, got change back for a ten; young cashier with a curt "no," when I lamely said, "didn't I give you a 20?"  Six hours later, i put a $1.25 in soda machine in apt building where I live---no soda or change, with my unashamedly banging the heck out of the machine till I accidently jammed the coin return button.

Find the good in lousy events cliche: it just plain popped into my head that, when on October 30, a truck hit the front of a car I was a passenger in, the normal response should have been an angry "what the hell is wrong with you?!" to the truck driver---cause we had the right of way, going straight, and driver turning at the light; instead, not much of any response from me.

Woke this morning thinking how at the local drop-in, 10? years ago, the volunteer running the place went into a room with others for private meeting, with idiot me left out of it-----though that is NOT what is supposed to go on at a drop-in for people with problems; again, me silent.

I hate the fact that I've been a doormat most of my life, with few time 4-eyes me objecting, it only caused me added trouble.