death

In 2006 I lost my husband. They claim because of his heart. But I know it was a case of over medication, that I knew one day would kill him. He lived on morphine for 8 years. And took 12 other medication for various other things. But the pain finally killed him. And he was gone in one moment. The week before he died was a very silent week pain and tears flew down is cheeks. He was in two car accidents that week. But no one was injured. Praise the Lord. The day before he died he came to me and told me a few things. He told me he knew something was different. The pain was worst and he needed to go to the hospital. So we went. Another visit to the er. Where this time they admitted him, saying his small intestine were bleeding, and they would have to run test. That night in the hospital he talked in a bable stage and kept saying he was going home on a bus. He talked about Jesus, and his sons. He was so proud of them. Then his last words to me, I love you. As I look back on the last two years I think of death and the things that have happen. I writing this list so I can really see how many deaths have hit me during the grieving time. Maybe this is why I still walk in fog on some days. People who have died: 1. Harry, 2. Jeannie(neighbor for 40 years, like a sister)3. Mrs. Ryan First funeral I went lived across the street for 40 years. 4. Mike Reagan 19 year old fire firefighter who was my helper during Vacation BIble school died in a fire. 5. Patty closet friend to me on the football field, son's matt friends 6. My uncle Joe 7. Bevin's baby 8. Mrs. Rowat, same day as Harry 9. Evelyn great friend from church 10. Rj 11. my mother in lawAt this point I am looking at this list saying I know I am missing someone. But can't remember. All I know is that this a lot of close people. I just can't understand it all So live today like there is no tomorrow, Dream like tomorrow will last forever.