death

The death of a child is the worse thing that anyone could go through and i hate my new life without kelly. it sucks -still not able to be positive or even come to terms with his death and i won't ever be able to. it's wrong and unfair and awful and i hate it. when i drive home from work in the morning i wish that i could come in the house and see him in there in his bed asleep-i miss him so much. i really do wish i would of died in his place. i know the kids would miss me but you expect your parents to die not your kids. life without kelly i don't want it. i feel ungrateful because i do have chels and she is all that keeps me going but the pain is so strong at times and i just don't want it anymore. i wrote this in pink because when he died it was his favorite color.