DDay + 2 Years
Today I'm fixated with the questions with which I never was able to confront the OW. It's stupid and pointless. I've played this game in my head a million times. I KNOW that I don't want to invite her back into our lives in any way. I KNOW that even if she were a kind, gentle person (she is definitely NOT) she would still never have answers that would satisfy me.
Still. I can't get them out of my head. I contemplated popping by Cheaters Anonymous and asking them, but to what end? They won't have answers that would be satisfying, either.
I really feel a strong urge to confront the OW today, but I know it's only because it's the anniversary of DDAY. I know that doing so would not help anything. It's why I didn't bother with it 2 years ago. So why is this stuck in my head? Why can't I let it go?
She knew he was married. He flat out told her (many times) that he still loved me and still wanted to be with me. Clearly, his actions said otherwise, but for HER part, why did she continue to pursue him anyway? Why would she chase after someone who was married and who claimed to love his spouse?
I know. I know. Focus on home. Focus on me. Focus on my husband. Focus on our marriage. "Don't worry about other people, just worry about yourself," like my daddy used to always say.
So much easier said than done.
Still. I can't get them out of my head. I contemplated popping by Cheaters Anonymous and asking them, but to what end? They won't have answers that would be satisfying, either.
I really feel a strong urge to confront the OW today, but I know it's only because it's the anniversary of DDAY. I know that doing so would not help anything. It's why I didn't bother with it 2 years ago. So why is this stuck in my head? Why can't I let it go?
She knew he was married. He flat out told her (many times) that he still loved me and still wanted to be with me. Clearly, his actions said otherwise, but for HER part, why did she continue to pursue him anyway? Why would she chase after someone who was married and who claimed to love his spouse?
I know. I know. Focus on home. Focus on me. Focus on my husband. Focus on our marriage. "Don't worry about other people, just worry about yourself," like my daddy used to always say.
So much easier said than done.
Replies
I\'ll tell you why ... because she wanted your life and what she thought your H gave you. I honestly think it has very little to do with our CS and more to do with us. What they don\'t realize is that our lives weren\'t just given to us, we earned them and you can\'t just substitute an OW int he place of the wife and come up with the same picture.
On some level she envied you and wanted what you have, so she tried to take it.
OW also have a hard time creating real, lasting relationships of substance so they try to step in to what someone else has created.
Your H was just someone with resources who paid attention to her.
((hugs))
What Lisa said!!!! Allora, been there, done that, bought the tee shirt! Lisa knows my situation well and we\'ve had these discussions. I asked the same questions in my head. My H\'s OW knew he was married with 2 children at home. He told he he had no intention of leaving me. Any self-respecting woman would say, \"Oh really, then see ya! I don\'t share a man with anyone. Call me if you ever get a divorce and if I\'m still available, maybe we can daye. Wait, you\'re a cheater...nevermind, don\'t call me.\" However, these OW not only do not have self-respect, they are selfish bitches who only care about themselves and not who their actions hurt...as long as they get theirs. They get theirs alright. Karma is a bitch! The bottom line is that they were never good enough to steal our husbands. In the end, our husbands realized what treasures they had at home and what trash they almost risked it all for! Hugs.
Thanks, ladies. I definitely appreciate the supportive words.
I think OW was just too drunk to know better. Poor, pickled thing. (Hey. I deserve one mean dig, right?)
You can have all the dig you want! You can even dig on my OW if you want! lol
Two things to keep in mind:
1. Men marry up and cheat down
2. No normal single woman wants a married man