Day off from life
What's funny about me is that I go in circles and never really learn anything.
I wonder why I could be so dense.
let's blame society and my defense mechanisms. That way I won't have ot fix anything if it's someone else's fault.
How's that for attitude?
I started there today because I AM going in circles and not learning anything. Another cycle of not sleeping well and then I am stoned (Not chemically, but I am using this word to describe how I become when I don't sleep) and DW gets all up in my grille about how I am not particiapting in anything and everyone thinks that because I am silent and I have a scowl on my face, that i am angry at them. It's just that my existence itself is unbearable.
Surely you have read about this before. I mean here.
my kids....they get off when they say good night to me and they get really close to me, looking in my eyes, so close that when they look at me they see me looking like a cyclops. Surely you know what I mean. Well...for me it's too close. I hate it. But these are my kids. What does that say about me? Why would I be uncomfortable when my kids get close? This bothers me.
Man, I got some problems. Yes, I realize other people have it worse. But 1) my wife nags me about them, only because she cares in that strange way she does, which includes emotional abuse, and 2) if my kids don't grow up healthy because I am the tree that the nut doesn't fall far from, I will never forgive myself.
Also I took the day off from life yesterday. Went to a really small pond where they recently stocked with more "trophy" trout than the pond can sustain, and the fish weren't biting, but they shore was a-jumping. They were huge but not hungry for what I offered. I need a new outlet. This ain't working out anymore.
Right now it seems very little is working out. I need to change something. I can't keep this up.
Have a great weekend!!!
I wonder why I could be so dense.
let's blame society and my defense mechanisms. That way I won't have ot fix anything if it's someone else's fault.
How's that for attitude?
I started there today because I AM going in circles and not learning anything. Another cycle of not sleeping well and then I am stoned (Not chemically, but I am using this word to describe how I become when I don't sleep) and DW gets all up in my grille about how I am not particiapting in anything and everyone thinks that because I am silent and I have a scowl on my face, that i am angry at them. It's just that my existence itself is unbearable.
Surely you have read about this before. I mean here.
my kids....they get off when they say good night to me and they get really close to me, looking in my eyes, so close that when they look at me they see me looking like a cyclops. Surely you know what I mean. Well...for me it's too close. I hate it. But these are my kids. What does that say about me? Why would I be uncomfortable when my kids get close? This bothers me.
Man, I got some problems. Yes, I realize other people have it worse. But 1) my wife nags me about them, only because she cares in that strange way she does, which includes emotional abuse, and 2) if my kids don't grow up healthy because I am the tree that the nut doesn't fall far from, I will never forgive myself.
Also I took the day off from life yesterday. Went to a really small pond where they recently stocked with more "trophy" trout than the pond can sustain, and the fish weren't biting, but they shore was a-jumping. They were huge but not hungry for what I offered. I need a new outlet. This ain't working out anymore.
Right now it seems very little is working out. I need to change something. I can't keep this up.
Have a great weekend!!!
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