Day in, day out
Work is my life, my pleasure, my pain and most of all, my escape. At times I think, when I look around, that I am not alone in this path as most who I deal with daily follow the same road, holding hands with me, responding to my e-mails at 3:00am and chatting about absolutely nothing just so we know we are not alone out there.
Certanly this is related to loneliness, that sits in the hearts of all that live like I live. This is the most common feeling and not a new stat. Look around, and you will find those who smile and hide tears. Those who cry and yet are content in their misery doing nothing or little to change. Then very few emerge out of their shell to fight back and make a change for the better.
I wish I could be one of the few but I cannot cut the strings. And the reason why I cannot do this is because I look at the baby - who is my grandchild - so loving, so close to me - and the simple tought of what could happen to her if and when I am not there scares me. I would not be free. Every moment of my day would be wondering what is happening to her. She is only 16 months old, a happy child, laughing, a fighter, a cute bundle who is walking, singing her abcs up to G (oh, yeah!) and loves to dance on my lap watching Raffi's videos (from the 80's).
This is nothing different that I did for my daughter when she was young and at times I wonder: will she also grow up to be the same monster? Am I creating a monster all over again?
Only faith will show what comes next.
Certanly this is related to loneliness, that sits in the hearts of all that live like I live. This is the most common feeling and not a new stat. Look around, and you will find those who smile and hide tears. Those who cry and yet are content in their misery doing nothing or little to change. Then very few emerge out of their shell to fight back and make a change for the better.
I wish I could be one of the few but I cannot cut the strings. And the reason why I cannot do this is because I look at the baby - who is my grandchild - so loving, so close to me - and the simple tought of what could happen to her if and when I am not there scares me. I would not be free. Every moment of my day would be wondering what is happening to her. She is only 16 months old, a happy child, laughing, a fighter, a cute bundle who is walking, singing her abcs up to G (oh, yeah!) and loves to dance on my lap watching Raffi's videos (from the 80's).
This is nothing different that I did for my daughter when she was young and at times I wonder: will she also grow up to be the same monster? Am I creating a monster all over again?
Only faith will show what comes next.
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