day by day.... right :)
Well the last two days have been very hectic and tiring for me, as I said my grandson's great-grandmother passed last week and I knew I needed to be there for him and his Mom's family. Until recently, I haven't had much contact with my grandson's sister, her Dad didn't really want me in her life and I was afraid of getting to attached and then not being able to see her. Mama has been back and forth in the releationship and she ended up having to go back and live with her Mother. It's over 45min from my home and because she has no income it has made it difficult for her to get back and forth, especially since every dime she does get her "mother" takes from her.
Anyway, Friday I kept the little girl while mama got a much needed break, my grandson was with her Dad whom I know is a great grandpa to my grandson (he's not finacially stable and lives in a very bad part of town) but as irresonsible as he can be he is good to him.
On Sunday mama called me and asked if I would come to the showing and help with the kids, as her own Mom refused "she was too busy" I felt so bad for her, she had just lost her Grandmother and her own Mom wouldn't even try and be there for her. The showing was a tough day as they always are and at first I felt so out of place, no one knew who I was or why I was chasing after two kids, but as the evening went on many of her family members came up and thanked me, told me they appreciated my help and my Grandson was very lucky to have me.... that felt good.
Yesterday for the funeral I kept the baby while the family went to the funeral, boy running around after a 2 yr old little girl sure can wear you out..... but it felt good helping them.
I still haven't gotten a letter from my son I go to the mail box everyday hoping for something. I know I should write him, but I am so hurt I am afraid I will say things I shouldn't and I know he knows he screwed up big time, he could be looking at any where for 10 to 30 years. I need him to write me first, and I can't afford the phone calls they offer so each day I wait for something to come in the mail. I was able to find out that his next court date is in November, I am now struggling as wheter I should go or not.
Well, I have a lot of catching up to do here at home and to top it off we found out last night that my husband's Aunt died, they are in a different state and my husband does't have the best relationship with many of his siblings nor his parents so this is going to be another hard funeral to attend.
Keep me in your prayers please I need all I can get.
Anyway, Friday I kept the little girl while mama got a much needed break, my grandson was with her Dad whom I know is a great grandpa to my grandson (he's not finacially stable and lives in a very bad part of town) but as irresonsible as he can be he is good to him.
On Sunday mama called me and asked if I would come to the showing and help with the kids, as her own Mom refused "she was too busy" I felt so bad for her, she had just lost her Grandmother and her own Mom wouldn't even try and be there for her. The showing was a tough day as they always are and at first I felt so out of place, no one knew who I was or why I was chasing after two kids, but as the evening went on many of her family members came up and thanked me, told me they appreciated my help and my Grandson was very lucky to have me.... that felt good.
Yesterday for the funeral I kept the baby while the family went to the funeral, boy running around after a 2 yr old little girl sure can wear you out..... but it felt good helping them.
I still haven't gotten a letter from my son I go to the mail box everyday hoping for something. I know I should write him, but I am so hurt I am afraid I will say things I shouldn't and I know he knows he screwed up big time, he could be looking at any where for 10 to 30 years. I need him to write me first, and I can't afford the phone calls they offer so each day I wait for something to come in the mail. I was able to find out that his next court date is in November, I am now struggling as wheter I should go or not.
Well, I have a lot of catching up to do here at home and to top it off we found out last night that my husband's Aunt died, they are in a different state and my husband does't have the best relationship with many of his siblings nor his parents so this is going to be another hard funeral to attend.
Keep me in your prayers please I need all I can get.
Replies
I am so so so sorry .. you are going through alot right now and it is so sad...I commend you for being there for your being there for the children. I have prayed alot and tried to see what God is wanting me to do, what to learn from all of this..I have seen some of those things and others I am sure are to come..It think as unfair as all of this is you will find some things too if you are not too angry to let this be an experience that allows you to look around and see where you may be able to make a difference..just a little when you are ready but It sounds like you have a real opportunity to be there for him, for each other..
Does your son have any money on his books? I am not sure if they give him stamps or not but he may have no way to write to you..have you been able to write to him? maybe he is scared to write to you. I wish I had magic words to make this easier for you, we are all here for you so stay close and know that you are not alone!!
No I haven\'t written him yet, I know I should and I will soon, but I\'m just so hurt and angry right now, I am just trying to focus on helping with my Grandson and getting a new job. Yeah I don\'t think I mentioned that right before my son got in trouble again I lost my job, I was laid off and I was very betrayed by the owner who talked me into coming to work for him and then less than a year later he decided to quit, this happend to me right before I took the job with him so now I went from having two jobs in 16 years to 3 in the last 4 years and I am strugggling with my choices, why do I keep making the same bad ones, I have realized that I have to start listening to that inner girl who told me don\'t do it and I did anyway. Any way thanks for the kind words I really have felt better just joining this group and other people getting what I feel. I also joined the SIDS group because I knew I could be supportive after 22 years since my daughter died. So I come here for support and go there to give support.... it is making me feel better each day.
Your a good person miskim, god bless you :)