Day after Christmas

I SURVIVED.  Very sad all day yesterday, had my moments of tears and had moments of laughter with my grandson and kids.  They are always my strength.  My other half was missing though.  I felt his absence all day and missed him so much.  Now today the tears won't stop.  How can he be gone, how can I do it without him?  I miss him.  New Years is going to be so hard.