Day 96, morning
Today is day 96. After my difficulties yesterday, I want to start right out with my journal. It helps me express my intent right at the beginning of my day. I do not drink.
I appreciated my class even more last night. If I had drank, I wouldn't have been able to go. The going was enjoyable...it affirmed my intentions, my direction and my life change. Something about making the choice, too. I could have drank, but I really have begun to see the benefits to me in not drinking. How good it really feels to make a different choice, to choose a different direction.
It wasn't easy, but it wasn't impossible and it was nowhere near as difficult as it was in those days before I actually quit when I was trying to cut down in preparation for the quit. I'm not in withdrawals. I'm not without support. I'm not without tools. Just something to work through, find my way through. It's likely to come up again and I can look back and say I made it through that one and I can make it through this one.
If or when this happens again, I will reach out for support. I don't need to do this alone. Reaching out is not my first response. I'm well practiced at not reaching out. I get it backwards a lot of the time. Time to flip it the other way. There is strength in reaching out. There is strength in pulling together with others to reach a common goal, a common desire. Imagine an impossibly high wall and hands reaching down to pull you up and over. Imagine yourself at the bottom of the wall reaching up and also at the top, one of the hands reaching down.
I attended my blue belt class last night. My form for testing is almost memorized and soon I'll need to start to re-memorize my previous forms. The testing will be on my present form and being able to move smoothly through the previous forms. They'll be looking for proper chambers and good stances, not just smooth transitions and flow. I'll need to start refining and practicing at home. Again a lot of it I can do in my mind when time is short.
Today is day 96. I am committed to making a life change. I have begun to see the benefits from making different choices, choosing new directions, rediscovering old directions that gave me joy. I do not drink. I am the tree, not the leaves. I am the mountain. It is day 96 and I am solid.
I appreciated my class even more last night. If I had drank, I wouldn't have been able to go. The going was enjoyable...it affirmed my intentions, my direction and my life change. Something about making the choice, too. I could have drank, but I really have begun to see the benefits to me in not drinking. How good it really feels to make a different choice, to choose a different direction.
It wasn't easy, but it wasn't impossible and it was nowhere near as difficult as it was in those days before I actually quit when I was trying to cut down in preparation for the quit. I'm not in withdrawals. I'm not without support. I'm not without tools. Just something to work through, find my way through. It's likely to come up again and I can look back and say I made it through that one and I can make it through this one.
If or when this happens again, I will reach out for support. I don't need to do this alone. Reaching out is not my first response. I'm well practiced at not reaching out. I get it backwards a lot of the time. Time to flip it the other way. There is strength in reaching out. There is strength in pulling together with others to reach a common goal, a common desire. Imagine an impossibly high wall and hands reaching down to pull you up and over. Imagine yourself at the bottom of the wall reaching up and also at the top, one of the hands reaching down.
I attended my blue belt class last night. My form for testing is almost memorized and soon I'll need to start to re-memorize my previous forms. The testing will be on my present form and being able to move smoothly through the previous forms. They'll be looking for proper chambers and good stances, not just smooth transitions and flow. I'll need to start refining and practicing at home. Again a lot of it I can do in my mind when time is short.
Today is day 96. I am committed to making a life change. I have begun to see the benefits from making different choices, choosing new directions, rediscovering old directions that gave me joy. I do not drink. I am the tree, not the leaves. I am the mountain. It is day 96 and I am solid.
Replies