Day 8 of New Goal

Still doing alright as far as no pulling or cutting of hair is concerned...
What is with everyone trying to get me to take off my hat this week?
I participated in a psychology experiment today (nothing related to trich), and the person conducting the experiment asked me to remove my hat. I felt really uncomfortable and just said that I was worried about "hat hair." She told me that it would be fine because no one else would see, but I didn't want to take my hat off in her presence. She looked at me with a very odd expression. She probably thought I was crazy.
I hate this. I hate hiding. I hate feeling like I have to depend on my hat. I hate feeling ugly and stupid and odd. I hate feeling that everyone must stare at me, wondering why I wear my hat all the time.
I need to just step outside without my hat on. Just do it, get it over with--and then I'll be fine. But I keep thinking about how there's only a couple of weeks of classes left. If I wear my hat to class a few more times, then winter break will come and I'll be able to grow my hair out during then. So part of me wants to keep hiding until then and just come back to school after break with longer hair.
I feel really anxious about the fact that my hair is still really short. I was expecting more growth by now. I have to see my parents in just a couple of weeks. Shit.
I still need to tell them everything.
I don't want to.
God, I'm such a coward.