Day 7 evening
Today I ate and drank water and worked in the yard. I exercised and stretched. Watched some tv. Did some work from home. Made muffins and am going to make dinner here in a bit. I am closing in on a week. It's quite the accomplishment. I still can't quite believe it. I'm not even sure how to celebrate it.
I didn't feel the urge today to go to the liquor store. When I was stretching though, realizing that my body is getting looser, I remembered a time when I had that first drink or two and how my body relaxed and how wonderful that felt. I also remembered that it lasted only a little while because I continued to drink until I finished the bottle and that when the next day, I got home and took my first drink, the feeling didn't happen again. There was just drinking and more drinking.
I feel like I can find that relaxation in a way that can be more permanent, not illusory. I can find it in a way that can be healthful. I can find it in a way that doesn't involve alcohol...and in actuality alcohol rarely created the feeling. So for me to long for that moment today as I stretched.....that moment may be a false moment. I can find something more true.
My yard's looking better. Still a good bit of work to do. Going to make dinner and while it's cooking, I'll put up the tent. Later a walk with the dogs...still a bit too warm to go.
Goals tomorrow: water, eat, breathe. I'd like to start looking for a goal outside of the basics this coming week. Nothing difficult...something small. Think on it.
Main goal and I will be out and about town tomorrow...do not go to the liquor store. If you feel the need, go to Jamba Juice instead. Get a nice green smoothie or orange banana carrot smoothie. There are alternatives when I have that feeling. I need to be open to those, and not fall back on something that is habit and is false in that it does not give me what I need. Alcohol is the opposite of what I need. My goal is to make a life change. I can meet this goal. I am not alone. I am the roots and the trunk and branches of the tree. I am not the leaves.
I didn't feel the urge today to go to the liquor store. When I was stretching though, realizing that my body is getting looser, I remembered a time when I had that first drink or two and how my body relaxed and how wonderful that felt. I also remembered that it lasted only a little while because I continued to drink until I finished the bottle and that when the next day, I got home and took my first drink, the feeling didn't happen again. There was just drinking and more drinking.
I feel like I can find that relaxation in a way that can be more permanent, not illusory. I can find it in a way that can be healthful. I can find it in a way that doesn't involve alcohol...and in actuality alcohol rarely created the feeling. So for me to long for that moment today as I stretched.....that moment may be a false moment. I can find something more true.
My yard's looking better. Still a good bit of work to do. Going to make dinner and while it's cooking, I'll put up the tent. Later a walk with the dogs...still a bit too warm to go.
Goals tomorrow: water, eat, breathe. I'd like to start looking for a goal outside of the basics this coming week. Nothing difficult...something small. Think on it.
Main goal and I will be out and about town tomorrow...do not go to the liquor store. If you feel the need, go to Jamba Juice instead. Get a nice green smoothie or orange banana carrot smoothie. There are alternatives when I have that feeling. I need to be open to those, and not fall back on something that is habit and is false in that it does not give me what I need. Alcohol is the opposite of what I need. My goal is to make a life change. I can meet this goal. I am not alone. I am the roots and the trunk and branches of the tree. I am not the leaves.
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