Day 7

Well today is day 6 of the rest of my life. Day 6 of being truthful of being honest. 7 days ago i was packing to move to South Carolina with my future wife. And then the lies unravelled and she had to take that trip on her own. Watching her pull out of the driveway at the Va Hospital was one of  the most crushing days i think i can ever remember. But she didnt leave me. She told me i needed to get my shit together. Get my head straight, stop the lies and get help. That beautiful woman. That angel saved my life 7 days ago. She lit a fire under me. She has pushed me to be better. She has stuck by my side. For me thats all i needed. For someone to believe in me enough to want me to stop being the person who lies and hurts people. She needed to show me tough love. The lies have gone on for the longest time. I wasnt proud of my childhood. Drug addict patents, alcoholic parents. Our whole life had to be hidden so no one knew how bad it really was. Coming up with lies and excuses why us kids were sent to luve with other relatives while my parents were in rehab. And after a while the lies just seemed real to me. I wanted them to be real. I wanted to fantasy life to be real. Not the life where mom was arrested and taken out of house and put in to state mandated rehab. Im learning to be real, learning to be humble, learning that its ok to just be Chuck. It isnt easy and the last week has made me want to drink something hard and numb all of the pain. But im not because i have 4 amazing kids, a 3 year okd grandson, and a woman who has shown me true, and unconditional love. She is my Angel. She is my true friend, she is my lover, but most of all she is MINE and i deserve her.