Day 64 Getting to know me....

I've been doing some soul searching lately. I'm trying to find my way, my pace, my groove if you will. Sometimes I find it hard to keep pushing forward. Even though I know that it is good for me. It's hard to get out of my comfort zone and make myself uncomfortable. With how I feel, how I look and all that other stuff. I've been continuing to work hard on my motivations and my determination. My schedule is a little off track at the moment. It sure seems like since I started doing that Sweatin to the Oldies tape, my body has been protesting. lol. I have aches from muscles I haven't used, and I jusdt want to lay down.  We did Richard last night, so today is a semi-rest day. We may take a little swim tonight or even do a little walk. I guess we'll see. I think I have to really listen to my body and rest when it tells me. I don't want to injure myself. I am so much more active than I was even a month ago.  i try to tell myself good things. To encourage myself to continue what I have been doing. I sometimes forget that I even have an anxiety problem until it creeps up on me. Like it sort of did this past weekend. I had to take a xanax before we drove to south Cuba (Kendal). I have to make specific time for myself to re-center and rejuvinate. My body mind and spirit are integral to my healing.   I have taken a cue from my girl Stacy (Dansdoll) and I'm going to get my story out and down on paper. I think it will really help with the discover of why I don't feel I am worthy. Why it's so hard for me to accept unconditional love.  Hmm...ok thanks for reading the ramble. I really hope you all are well! Big hugs and lots and lots of love! I don't know what I'd do without you guys! D