Day 47, morning

Today is day 47.  Last night I stopped at the store before I came home.  I picked up some things for dinner, salmon, asparagus and makings for a risotto.  I got some chai tea which I like in the mornings, and also some hazelnut syrup to go in it.  I usually buy the small plastic bottle of it, but this store only had a large glass bottle.  I put it in my basket and then the clerk took it out and put it back in the basket.  I took it from the basket and put it in the truck.  Just a transfer of it from one place to another.  When I got home though with my other items balanced in my left hand I grabbed that bottle of hazelnut syrup by the neck with my right hand and began to walk toward the house with it.  It was here that I realized it had the feel weight, and shape of a fifth, a fifth of hazelnut syrup, but that motion, that muscle memory, that grabbing it by the neck.  It stopped me in my tracks.  This bottle of hazelnut syrup will last me awhile, but next time I think I'll stick with the small bottle, for now. It feels a bit silly, but I may even pour it into a different container all together just to be safe.  That motion and feel was just all too familiar and all too real.
Today is day 47.  I am committed to making a life change.  I do not drink.  I am the tree not the leaves.  I am the mountain.  It is day 47 and I am solid.