Day 4 of Taper

So far the taper is going well. I'm not going through any withdrawal yet, and I'm at half doses of most of my meds. I have been sleeping well still... I had trouble falling asleep last night, but I finally went to sleep around midnight. I slept until 8am, and woke up unable to go back to sleep. I finally decided around 10 that I wasn't going to go back to sleep so I got up and got ready for work. I went into work early, and that went well. I did start hallucinating a bit today once I got home, so I know that the risperdal is working it's way out of my system. It's not a big deal, it's just some bugs here and there. That and I saw the bed moving when there was nothing on it. I guess you could call a return of symptoms a withdrawal, so I'm not totally free of withdrawal symptoms. The doctors call it “discontinuation symptoms” but it's really withdrawal. It just sounds better and more classy if you call it that, and they can shake the fact that you are going through withdrawals. I don't know what tonight is going to bring, if I'm going to be able to sleep okay and wake up on time for work tomorrow. I want to go in, I made it in today.
Speaking of work, I got annoyed with myself about not being able to get to work all the time, since they have a position open that I would love to take. They have the position open where I would be working with patients again. I don't know if I would be doing scheduling, like I was doing before, but I know it's the position that they want me to apply for. I can't right now, though, because there's no way I'm stable enough for a part time job. Plus, it pays too much lol. How many times do you hear that? I can only earn a certain amount for Social Security and keep my disability. That's why I wanted to get involved with that BOND project thing that I had the interview for a couple weeks ago. I wanted to be able to work without having to worry about how much I'm earning. If I earn too much, then after a certain amount of time they take my benefits away. I don't want my benefits taken away, so I have to be careful how much I work.
Work today went well for the time I was there. I had woken up so early that I had to leave at 2 to go home and take a nap. It felt good to nap, and I felt better afterward. I got there at 10:45 and left a bit after 2pm, so I got my 3 hours in. If I wake up early tomorrow, I don't know what I'm going to do. I might go in early again, but it's hard. My boss doesn't want me leaving and tries to get me to stay. I like her and all, but she can be a bit pushy sometimes. Not that it's a bad thing for a boss, but I need to keep my boundaries up. I needed the sleep since I could go hypomanic if I didn't get it. She doesn't really understand bipolar, so I'm just going to let her know what needs to happen with me for me to be able to be productive. She also was just recently promoted, so she's learning how to deal with her old job and the new one. I'm glad I can help her out, since she needs a lot of help.
Mood today was okay... I don't know if I should keep it at good or go to okay. I mean, nothing bad happened today, but nothing really good either. Well, if you count being able to go into work being a good thing (which I do) then it was a good day. I got my sleep in, even if it was broken. I used my phone as an MP3 player while I was in the shower, despite Geo being asleep. It didn't wake him, so I think I'm going to start doing that every day because it makes showering better. Not that I need another reason to shower... I love being in the hot water. Now I want to take a bath, but it's getting late and I should be going to bed soon.
Food today was good... I was in my calorie range and everything, just a bit high on my fat intake with eating that pot pie that I got at the store. I don't know if I want to eat another one... it's hard for me to knowing how bad they are for you. Well, not really bad for you, but you have to watch what you eat when you eat one of those things. They have a ton of fat in them, more than I allow myself in a day. Plus, it was burned so it wasn't even that tasty. I didn't know the microwave at work was going to be so strong. Oh well, you live and learn. I'm getting really tired... I'm probably going to lay down when I'm done with this (which I almost am) and try and sleep. I've had a long day. Stress was moderate, dealing with the new boss. I ate mashed potatoes at work when I wasn't hungry just because I always eat at that time, so I have to watch out for that kind of eating in the future.