Day #4- Messed Up

So, the constant struggle inside my brain got to me.  I knew I was giving in, so I set some rules.  I set an amount to walk in with and be prepared to lose, left any way to access any extra cash at home, and went to lose my money.  Even on the way, I kept trying to talk myself out of it, telling myself what I could spend it on instead. It didn't work.   As I sat there playing, I told myself how much I was going to deserve the feeling of regret that I was going to have later...and then the worst part happened...I won.  Not the lesson I really needed to learn. I know its going to just make me think I can win more next time.  So, I'm disappointed in myself in one way...but also feel I took a few baby steps.  I changed what I normally would do...instead of continuing to gamble until I lost what I had won, I cashed out.  I cashed out, and I set a new smaller limit to what I was willing to lose, and I set a time limit, and I continued to cash out any wins.  I ended up cashing out, and walking out $353.00 ahead.  Tonight, its a very strange sense of guilt.  I gave in, but I also am happy I didn't lose control.  Tomorrow, I am back to Day #1.  Instead of trying to go out an win more, I am going to take advantage of what I did win and pay extra on paying something off.  I am learning what my weaknesses are, and I am going to learn to be strong and succeed.