Day 32 morning
It is day 32. Wow...moving into the second month.
I was thinking about drinking as a reward for things in my life: a hard day, a long day, a stressful day. What's my new reward? I haven't really made one yet. How can I make reward that relieves the stresses of a day or a week? I used to take a bath. I also used to come home and read in my hammock. My hammock has been pretty neglected and falling apart out in the weather. Maybe it's time for a new one to celebrate 30 days. This weekend, Sunday or Monday.
What else did I do? I'd go home quickly change and take the dogs to the lake before dark, especially in the summer when it's light late. Sometimes I'd make a nice dinner or my favorite dinner....comfort food type thing. Or come home and sit on the back porch until dark with a sun tea.
I have bbq'ed the last two days. That's been nice. Real nice actually..the starting of the coals, the walking out and checking the coals, feeling the sun and smelling the air and then the smell of things cooking on the bbq. Going out to check the meat cooking, flipping it. Feeling the breeze.
I'm grateful I quit drinking in summer. I hadn't planned that, but the opportunities for what you can get out and do are so much greater.
I actually found kind of a cool site. I don't know that I would use it at this time, but I think I'll sign up for it. It's called meetup.com. Just looking through it quickly this morning, it has hiking, entrepreneur, meditation, adventure, skiing, and gay fitness groups for places all over the us. I typed in my city and how far I was willing to drive and all these groups popped up that I didn't know existed in my area. When you sign up, pick the groups that interest you and when that group has a hike planned or get to together, you get an email.
I think I'd like to make a list of the parts of my life like social, spiritual, work, home...the kind of thing I talked about in an earlier journal entry to look at to create more balance in my life...I'd make the list and then each time I did something that brought more of that particular area into my life, I would tick off what I did. It could help me to bring more of those areas into my life in a way that was visual to me, measurable and I think if I'm tracking it, I might be more likely to try new things and step out of my comfort zone....expanding a life that has narrowed, that life being my own.
I'd probably add my goals as one of the pieces of the pie. Each time I did something that moved me closer to a goal, I could write it down. I've started working out some goals and narrowing it down to three things I'd like to work toward. I need to sit down and do the rest of the narrowing. I'd like to get a new notebook where I keep my goals and thoughts on those goals...something I can carry with me. To do it on my phone is doable but not as quite the same as paper and pen. I guess I could do it either way really.
I've had a lot of thoughts lately. I feel like there was something else I wanted to remind myself of here, but I can't remember what it is. Something I thought of last night or this morning....hmmm. It'll come to me. Here's to a new hammock this weekend.
Today is day 32. I am committed to making a life change. I do not drink. I am the tree, not the leaves. It's time to stretch a little, to make a move that breaks the narrowness I have created in my life while drinking, to take small, 'safe' risks. Now is a good time. Do something new. I am the mountain. It is day 32 and I feel solid.
I was thinking about drinking as a reward for things in my life: a hard day, a long day, a stressful day. What's my new reward? I haven't really made one yet. How can I make reward that relieves the stresses of a day or a week? I used to take a bath. I also used to come home and read in my hammock. My hammock has been pretty neglected and falling apart out in the weather. Maybe it's time for a new one to celebrate 30 days. This weekend, Sunday or Monday.
What else did I do? I'd go home quickly change and take the dogs to the lake before dark, especially in the summer when it's light late. Sometimes I'd make a nice dinner or my favorite dinner....comfort food type thing. Or come home and sit on the back porch until dark with a sun tea.
I have bbq'ed the last two days. That's been nice. Real nice actually..the starting of the coals, the walking out and checking the coals, feeling the sun and smelling the air and then the smell of things cooking on the bbq. Going out to check the meat cooking, flipping it. Feeling the breeze.
I'm grateful I quit drinking in summer. I hadn't planned that, but the opportunities for what you can get out and do are so much greater.
I actually found kind of a cool site. I don't know that I would use it at this time, but I think I'll sign up for it. It's called meetup.com. Just looking through it quickly this morning, it has hiking, entrepreneur, meditation, adventure, skiing, and gay fitness groups for places all over the us. I typed in my city and how far I was willing to drive and all these groups popped up that I didn't know existed in my area. When you sign up, pick the groups that interest you and when that group has a hike planned or get to together, you get an email.
I think I'd like to make a list of the parts of my life like social, spiritual, work, home...the kind of thing I talked about in an earlier journal entry to look at to create more balance in my life...I'd make the list and then each time I did something that brought more of that particular area into my life, I would tick off what I did. It could help me to bring more of those areas into my life in a way that was visual to me, measurable and I think if I'm tracking it, I might be more likely to try new things and step out of my comfort zone....expanding a life that has narrowed, that life being my own.
I'd probably add my goals as one of the pieces of the pie. Each time I did something that moved me closer to a goal, I could write it down. I've started working out some goals and narrowing it down to three things I'd like to work toward. I need to sit down and do the rest of the narrowing. I'd like to get a new notebook where I keep my goals and thoughts on those goals...something I can carry with me. To do it on my phone is doable but not as quite the same as paper and pen. I guess I could do it either way really.
I've had a lot of thoughts lately. I feel like there was something else I wanted to remind myself of here, but I can't remember what it is. Something I thought of last night or this morning....hmmm. It'll come to me. Here's to a new hammock this weekend.
Today is day 32. I am committed to making a life change. I do not drink. I am the tree, not the leaves. It's time to stretch a little, to make a move that breaks the narrowness I have created in my life while drinking, to take small, 'safe' risks. Now is a good time. Do something new. I am the mountain. It is day 32 and I feel solid.
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