Day 30, morning
Well, well, well.....day 30 has arrived...I feel confident I will make it to the end of the day. I first thought celebration but realized today is day 30 and I must finish it to have 30 days sobriety. I am confident I will make it to the end of the day, not cocky, just confident.
This means a lot to me to have made it this far. It was hard, and yet on the first day it seemed impossible. Having thought it impossible, I look back and see how incredibly easy it was and I wonder why I didn't do it before. I've done it now.
Yesterday I did some yard work and then pulled the adirondack out to the edge of the yard. The fields had just been cut and there was the fresh cut hay smell. The swallows were everywhere zipping this way and that, bug hunting. The peak was standing unobscured in full view. I imagined myself coming up the north trail. I could smell the water on the garden and the roses. One dog to my left in the sun and the other dog a few feet away in the shade of a tree. The sun was headed down. There was a light breeze. I closed my eyes to concentrate on the feel of it on my face. I realized I'd forgotten what it was like to be still and present. It feels really good. If this is sobriety, it's not a bad gig.
Before I went to bed, I put together a small barbecue I had bought. I have a large smoker but I wanted something small where maybe I could throw on just a small steak or something. Tonight when I get home I'll make some chicken and I thought I'd try grilled fruit like mango, apple and strawberries. I've never tried grilling fruit before. It'll be fun.
Whatever unsettledness I felt Saturday night seems to have passed with rest and activity and chores and doing and napping. It didn't feel entirely gone until the end of the day yesterday sitting out there in the evening reviewing my goals and taking in the evening. It does feel good to be sober. Difficult but good....so much habit left in me to retrain...and move in a new direction.
"Nothing can stop a man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude." -Thomas Jefferson
"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes your goal." -Henry Ford
Today is day 30. I do not drink. I am committed to making a life change. I am the tree, not the leaves. I am the mountain. It is day 30 and I feel solid.
This means a lot to me to have made it this far. It was hard, and yet on the first day it seemed impossible. Having thought it impossible, I look back and see how incredibly easy it was and I wonder why I didn't do it before. I've done it now.
Yesterday I did some yard work and then pulled the adirondack out to the edge of the yard. The fields had just been cut and there was the fresh cut hay smell. The swallows were everywhere zipping this way and that, bug hunting. The peak was standing unobscured in full view. I imagined myself coming up the north trail. I could smell the water on the garden and the roses. One dog to my left in the sun and the other dog a few feet away in the shade of a tree. The sun was headed down. There was a light breeze. I closed my eyes to concentrate on the feel of it on my face. I realized I'd forgotten what it was like to be still and present. It feels really good. If this is sobriety, it's not a bad gig.
Before I went to bed, I put together a small barbecue I had bought. I have a large smoker but I wanted something small where maybe I could throw on just a small steak or something. Tonight when I get home I'll make some chicken and I thought I'd try grilled fruit like mango, apple and strawberries. I've never tried grilling fruit before. It'll be fun.
Whatever unsettledness I felt Saturday night seems to have passed with rest and activity and chores and doing and napping. It didn't feel entirely gone until the end of the day yesterday sitting out there in the evening reviewing my goals and taking in the evening. It does feel good to be sober. Difficult but good....so much habit left in me to retrain...and move in a new direction.
"Nothing can stop a man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude." -Thomas Jefferson
"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes your goal." -Henry Ford
Today is day 30. I do not drink. I am committed to making a life change. I am the tree, not the leaves. I am the mountain. It is day 30 and I feel solid.
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