Day 29 morning
It is day 29 which means tomorrow is 30 days.
I got the sleep I needed and then yesterday took the dogs to the forest. Got a donut and bones after instead of a fifth like in the past. Came read the newspaper and had tea.
After the paper, I went on line and tried to learn about skin conditions caused by alcohol use. My skin conditions are almost cleared up, but I wanted to learn more. I read a lot on alcoholism support sites, other peoples' experiences and then I ran across a site that listed skin symptoms and then went straight into signs of liver failure. 28 days ago I met all but a couple of the signs of liver failure.
It caught me by surprise which is kind of ridiculous since I knew how heavy my drinking was. There was no other direction I was headed, but something about it really sunk home in a way it hadn't before. It took the day for it to really sink in. Let myself sit with it.
Though I missed my journal yesterday thinking on all this, it was a good thing to take the time to sit with it. It's a good thing to have sitting heavy on me as I head toward day 30. I'm not sure what woke me up 28 days ago...just tired of it all I think. I have gotten another wake up as I head into thirty days.
"Why are you drinking? demanded the little prince. So that I may forget, replied the tipler. Forget what? inquired the little prince, who was already sorry for him. Forget that I am ashamed, the tipler confessed, hanging his head. Ashamed of what? insisted the little prince, who wanted to help him. Ashamed of drinking!"
It is day 29. I do not drink. I am committed to making a life change. I am committed to taking care of myself: body and mind. I am the tree, not the leaves. I am the mountain. It is day 29 and I am solid.
I got the sleep I needed and then yesterday took the dogs to the forest. Got a donut and bones after instead of a fifth like in the past. Came read the newspaper and had tea.
After the paper, I went on line and tried to learn about skin conditions caused by alcohol use. My skin conditions are almost cleared up, but I wanted to learn more. I read a lot on alcoholism support sites, other peoples' experiences and then I ran across a site that listed skin symptoms and then went straight into signs of liver failure. 28 days ago I met all but a couple of the signs of liver failure.
It caught me by surprise which is kind of ridiculous since I knew how heavy my drinking was. There was no other direction I was headed, but something about it really sunk home in a way it hadn't before. It took the day for it to really sink in. Let myself sit with it.
Though I missed my journal yesterday thinking on all this, it was a good thing to take the time to sit with it. It's a good thing to have sitting heavy on me as I head toward day 30. I'm not sure what woke me up 28 days ago...just tired of it all I think. I have gotten another wake up as I head into thirty days.
"Why are you drinking? demanded the little prince. So that I may forget, replied the tipler. Forget what? inquired the little prince, who was already sorry for him. Forget that I am ashamed, the tipler confessed, hanging his head. Ashamed of what? insisted the little prince, who wanted to help him. Ashamed of drinking!"
It is day 29. I do not drink. I am committed to making a life change. I am committed to taking care of myself: body and mind. I am the tree, not the leaves. I am the mountain. It is day 29 and I am solid.
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