Day 2- Journal proceeding
Ok So today didnt start too bad for me...maybe it was beacause he was still sleeping when i went to work ( 06:20) and baby was awake to give me a hug & a kiss goodbye :)...Untill he phoned me this morning and thanked me for NOT waking him up.He slept till 8 :30 am with baby walking around in the house. Well, i did wake him up! Yet he was too wasted after last nights party with his friends until 2 am. Why is it my fault?
Even though all this late up off him aint right for me, it didnt bother me cause i like to be alone at home. It felt good. Is this me going sane or is my mindset changing allready about him , asif i want to be alone....
You know, for some odd reason , it did not even bother me anymore when he threw th phone down in my ear when i told him that its was his responsibility not to party if he knows he has to work the following morning...Yes his friends dont mind at all cause they have no worries whether he has a job and family he is supporting.
This is why i just want to go my own way for a while. I dont want to be blamed for stuff like this. I want my lil one to grow up happy:) not in a house full of fighting...
argg i feel like a terrible mother even though i appear to have everything sorted out ...all these emotions are just going hay wire inside me. i need a punching bag for my bday ....
Hopefully i WILL find that happiness sometime :) Just got to add some in my life :) And as Ms Cakes said...Sunday is a good idea :) Im actually excited for that idea- cant wait :)
Hopefully tommorrow will hold a complete new \dventure in for me :) Cant wait.This ladder must go up !
Signed
† Chrissie
Even though all this late up off him aint right for me, it didnt bother me cause i like to be alone at home. It felt good. Is this me going sane or is my mindset changing allready about him , asif i want to be alone....
You know, for some odd reason , it did not even bother me anymore when he threw th phone down in my ear when i told him that its was his responsibility not to party if he knows he has to work the following morning...Yes his friends dont mind at all cause they have no worries whether he has a job and family he is supporting.
This is why i just want to go my own way for a while. I dont want to be blamed for stuff like this. I want my lil one to grow up happy:) not in a house full of fighting...
argg i feel like a terrible mother even though i appear to have everything sorted out ...all these emotions are just going hay wire inside me. i need a punching bag for my bday ....
Hopefully i WILL find that happiness sometime :) Just got to add some in my life :) And as Ms Cakes said...Sunday is a good idea :) Im actually excited for that idea- cant wait :)
Hopefully tommorrow will hold a complete new \dventure in for me :) Cant wait.This ladder must go up !
Signed
† Chrissie
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