Day 17 morning
Day 17. There's nothing flashy about day 17, but each day is another success. It is another day I am making a commitment to a life change. Each day stacks upon the other.
I'm on a pretty tight schedule this morning. I want to make sure I accomplish all my basics this morning, and when I'm on a tight schedule I always seem to forget my vitamins. Don't forget.
I'm trying to remember back to that first week. The first walk with the dogs on day one. I was nauseous and sweating and shaking. I got to the end of the first field which is like ten minutes from the house and that was all I could do. I had the sweats so bad and then I would be so cold. The first time I got on my stationary bike, level 1. My muscles misfiring, the jerkiness from muscles that tired way too easily. The liquor store weighing heavily on my mind each morning and evening. How much time spent in my mind on the way home passing up each liquor store. How much brain space used for storing the hours of each liquor store.
A bright spot that first week was congarich. His time zone is three hours ahead of mine. I would get his status update three hours before liquor stores closed here. I don't believe I would have left the house once I got home to go to the liquor store, but his updates showing his success that day definitely gave me some umph to reach the end of my day. It was ever so slightly easier because of him. I am grateful.
I feel I am headed into a different space physically and emotionally. My physical gains are small but noticeable...I stood up in one smooth motion yesterday...sounds incredibly small but oh, it was grand...there was strength in it. Emotionally, I feel active in my life, a commitment to myself, a strong commitment, not a passing one. Sometimes, I feel myself wanting to rush, and again as I did last night, I will remind myself I am on day 17 of a lifetime journey. There is no rush. The basics...for this point in time that's all you need...let things unfold at their own pace.
"To believe in something not yet proved and to underwrite it with our lives: It is the only way we can leave the future open." -Lillian Smith
I do not drink. I am committed to making a life change. The basics are all I need right now. I am the tree, not the leaves. I am the mountain. It is day 17, and I am solid.
I'm on a pretty tight schedule this morning. I want to make sure I accomplish all my basics this morning, and when I'm on a tight schedule I always seem to forget my vitamins. Don't forget.
I'm trying to remember back to that first week. The first walk with the dogs on day one. I was nauseous and sweating and shaking. I got to the end of the first field which is like ten minutes from the house and that was all I could do. I had the sweats so bad and then I would be so cold. The first time I got on my stationary bike, level 1. My muscles misfiring, the jerkiness from muscles that tired way too easily. The liquor store weighing heavily on my mind each morning and evening. How much time spent in my mind on the way home passing up each liquor store. How much brain space used for storing the hours of each liquor store.
A bright spot that first week was congarich. His time zone is three hours ahead of mine. I would get his status update three hours before liquor stores closed here. I don't believe I would have left the house once I got home to go to the liquor store, but his updates showing his success that day definitely gave me some umph to reach the end of my day. It was ever so slightly easier because of him. I am grateful.
I feel I am headed into a different space physically and emotionally. My physical gains are small but noticeable...I stood up in one smooth motion yesterday...sounds incredibly small but oh, it was grand...there was strength in it. Emotionally, I feel active in my life, a commitment to myself, a strong commitment, not a passing one. Sometimes, I feel myself wanting to rush, and again as I did last night, I will remind myself I am on day 17 of a lifetime journey. There is no rush. The basics...for this point in time that's all you need...let things unfold at their own pace.
"To believe in something not yet proved and to underwrite it with our lives: It is the only way we can leave the future open." -Lillian Smith
I do not drink. I am committed to making a life change. The basics are all I need right now. I am the tree, not the leaves. I am the mountain. It is day 17, and I am solid.
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